The Really New You
What goes up must come down, as they say. You’ve probably noticed this in your own life on countless occasions. While there is immeasurable value in riding the wave of life, however, sometimes the realization that the flame has died out on something that used to be working (or the realization that the flame was never lit to begin with) can be so painful that many choose to take drastic measures. Exhausted from applying too many patches or petrified to continue living with a gaping hole, trust in your current path can run out and make you choose to shake things up entirely, start from scratch, and rebirth yourself with “the new you”.
And “the new you” is romantic as hell. Unlike how we tend to approach a lot of new beginnings that are not by choice, embarking on a path as “the new you” is typically very exciting, and the rush of possibility can easily drown out anxiety for a good chunk of time.
It’s a beautiful thing to finally focus more on what can go right than what can go wrong. It’s refreshing to feel weightless and detached from a past image of yourself that had to be maintained. And in comes Greg to spoil it all.
Well, I’m not going to spoil it. I don’t like to spoil things. I like to neutralize things, maybe? I like to tell the truth about things and I like my viewers to be prepared. For this reason, I have assembled a list of three key elements that are very much a part of creating “the new you” that are easy to overlook and even easier to not consider at all.
Starting from the outside, number one is the fact that your social circle may very well have to change. When we’re so focused on our own goals and pursuits — rightfully so by the way — it’s easy to forget for a moment how immensely important our relationships are. Given how easy it is to take many relationships for granted regardless of whether or not we’re re-establishing ourselves, we live a good portion of life assuming that we’ll always have our friends and families by our side, equating them in some ways, especially the particularly close ones, to being our eternal supporters. Knowing that they’ve been a steady presence through a lot of our lives already is likely going to cause us to forget to consider how the new us is going to resonate with them. Remember that a lot of relationships are based on common ground and understanding of one another. A dramatic shift in one party — so in this case, “the new you” — could potentially throw off the alignment between you and some peers, especially if it’s a relationship that’s spent more time being built by common interests and experiences of equal value to the two of you. Ultimately, those who really love you are apt to sticking with you through whatever is you choose to do, but all people have limits, and the loss of some relationships (or many relationships depending on how severe a change you’ve chosen to undergo) is a risk to be aware of when weighing how much this personal change truly means to you.
Now heading inward: Number two is the fact that you’re likely to spend a lot of time fighting the old and instinctual you. The strength with which your brain holds on to what it already knows is staggering, and for people to expect a seamless transition into an entirely new way of being is just unrealistic. Sure you may ignore or suppress old tendencies, but in time this can become extremely tiresome. Whether or not you have the tools and endurance to make it through this battle will be a true testament to how much you really crave this change in your life. Be aware that your old self cannot simply be buried away. Undoing a lifetime of thinking patterns overnight is simply too tall of a task, so having the patience to accept where you are in your process when those old habits come knocking is vital. Equally vital is your ability to listen to these old habits, because they just might be telling you that you don’t necessarily want or need this change in your life either. Your roots, whether they’ve been bred through nature or nurture, are an important part of you. The less you honor them in the establishment of the new you, the more aggressive they’re going to be.
Finally, the third element comes in direct contrast to the reason you likely wanted to make a big change in the first place. The comforting feeling about a big change is usually the fact that there are no problems when you hit the reset button. It’s a brand new you, and it’s untainted. But that doesn’t last, so number three is that “the new you” comes with new problems. A new exterior isn’t going to hide you from your problems; that’s not up for debate. The bigger the alteration, the longer it’ll help, but in the long run your problems are only going to come back, and like you, they’ll still be themselves but with a whole new look. The only way to combat this is to make friends with your problems. Understand that they’re a part of life and that they’re looking out for you. And the poorer your decisions are, the more problems are going to show up to try and help out. So you better start listening to them, understand the lessons they’re trying to teach you and make that welcoming acceptance of life’s hardships what “the new you” is really all about.
