The Struggles Of Writing With OCD
And how to overcome them
OCD is a common and debilitating anxiety disorder where a person experiences obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviours. For roughly 2% of the global population with OCD, everyday tasks can become increasingly difficult, and their disorder can interfere with all aspects of their life, particularly with those aspects most valued by the sufferer.
This article is going to spotlight the struggles that an OCD sufferer might encounter whilst writing, but it should be noted that whilst there are innumerable sub-types of OCD, all these heads belong to the same monster and require the same treatment plan. OCD forums are littered with people naming a million manifestations of the disorder, from breathing OCD to Relationship OCD, Reading OCD and Paedophilia OCD.
Whilst it can be comforting to see your specific breed of the disorder named and described, it’s important to remember that all of these are a result of the same thinking patterns. With that cleared up, let’s explore the struggles of writing with OCD specifically:
1. OCD often makes sufferers excessively conscious of the effect their words and actions have on others, which can present challenges for those who write for a living.
Here’s an example I myself have encountered: I often worry excessively about whether I have been explicit enough in warnings regarding health treatments, such as cold water therapy, whilst writing wellbeing pieces. Another strange manifestation I have had is fearing voicing religious doubts lest I harm another person’s faith. Whatever the specifics, suffice to say that this fixation on the effects we have on others can complicate the writing process.
2. Another way OCD can make the writing process challenging is by leading sufferers to doubt their comprehension skills; similarly to how an OCD sufferer might repeatedly wash their hands, doubting they have cleaned them sufficiently, many sufferers will fixate on whether they have understood concepts that can make reading a stressful and laborious process. It is not uncommon for those with this subtype of OCD to read sentences or pages multiple times, and eventually, to abandon reading altogether.
Oftentimes, I will find myself fixating on sentences or arguments, trying to “fully understand it”. This pursuit of perfection in understanding ideas can also occur in the writing process, leading me to fixate on whether I have articulated things “just right”.
3. The third way that writing is made difficult for those with OCD is that it is hard to focus whilst the mental noise of the disorder is present. In essence, the OCD sufferer is always multitasking, and as research has frequently shown, this can have a detrimental effect on the quality of work produced.
Additionally, when a sufferer does succumb to rituals, this breaks their focus and means they have to reorient themselves with the task. Why is this problematic? In short, when we perform multiple tasks at once, our brain rapidly switches between these tasks. When this happens, there is a switching cost that takes a toll on our memory, focus, and productivity, and this is enhanced if the tasks require different parts of the brain to be completed. According to Art Markman, a cognitive psychologist and author of Smart Thinking:
“The more times you switch, the more times you have to keep changing the state of your brain”.
4. Another way that OCD can affect your writing is if the disorder takes direct aim at that skill. Let me elaborate on this; OCD is parasitic in that it feeds off of the things which are most valuable to you, whether that be your relationship, your moral character or, you guessed it, your writing ability.
My own OCD has centered around my writing ability and led me to believe that if I didn’t perform certain rituals, I would be struck illiterate. This may sound absurd and subjective, but this belief that thoughts can influence events is endemic in OCD sufferers. A common example is when people fear something terrible will happen to their family or friends if they don’t perform a ritual. Naturally, if writing defines you as a person, or if you write for a living, it is fair to say the loss of that ability might be deemed pretty catastrophic.
Naturally, the next question to be asked is: What can we do about these struggles?
Keep Writing
The best way to overcome all of these struggles is to write in spite of them, thereby practicing Exposure and Response Prevention.
In OCD, the more you avoid triggers, the more you empower the disorder. Furthermore, OCD is a monster that is never satisfied, and if you sacrifice one activity it will merely latch onto the next thing that you occupy your time with, be it a relationship, a hobby, or your own moral character.
Long story short, a policy of appeasement doesn’t work with OCD.
With this in mind, don’t concede ground to the illness, and take a stand now rather than later; write about not being able to write, write about your fears, anxieties and doubts, or write about the struggles of writing with OCD.
The key is that you don’t fall into despair or abandon writing as an activity claimed by OCD, but instead, fight back word by word and article by article.
Moreover, be kind to yourself and acknowledge the difficulties your disorder presents to you as a writer; it will be difficult to sit with discomfort, and writing may well be unpleasant at times because of this, but with persistence and commitment you can reclaim writing for yourself and, as a fellow Medium author poetically put it whilst articulating her own experience of writing with OCD: “Writing and sharing your work with the world means punching your nemesis in the face.”
Amen to that.
Fact-Check Cognitive Distortions With CBT
An article on OCD wouldn’t be complete without mentioning cognitive distortions. If you have OCD, then chances are you have received some form of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy at some point, and if you haven’t, it’s about time you did.
In short, CBT is a psycho-social intervention that teaches people to alter their thinking patterns in order to change their behaviour. It is the gold standard of treatment for depression and anxiety disorders. Aaron Becks- the father of CBT- developed this clinical intervention after noticing that depressed patients often experienced cognitive distortions in their perception of the world. This discovery led him to develop his Cognitive Theory of Depression (cognitive just means thought), which paved the way for CBT.
Why have I given you this short history lesson? Because the struggles of writing with OCD that I listed are all products of these distortions such as “Should” and “Must” statements (“I must understand this text completely”), Catastrophizing (“I wasn’t clear enough about the dangers of cold water therapy in that article and therefore someone will get cold shock and die”) and Magical Thinking (“If I don’t say this ritual, I will lose my ability to write”.)
Whilst there are biological factors to OCD, addressing cognitive distortions like these is essential to managing the disorder. With this in mind, make an effort to fact-check your thoughts when your OCD gets in the way of your writing, and for that matter, anything else in your life.
In conclusion, OCD augments the struggles of being a writer, which are already numerous, including rejection, anxiety and uncertainty among others. These struggles which are native to writing don’t bode well for the OCD sufferer, who above all else seek control and certainty in their life. Nonetheless, whilst there are struggles, they are far from insurmountable, and by treating the disorder and continuing to write, you can minimise anxiety and learn to accept uncertainty. Whatever you do, don’t put down the pen.
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