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There Is No Word For A Parent Who Loses A Child
It’s that terrible of a loss.
A wife who loses a husband is called a widow.
A husband who loses a wife is called a widower.
A child who loses his parents is called an orphan.
There is no word for a parent who loses a child.
That’s how awful the loss is.
– Jay Neugeboren — An Orphan’s Tale — 1976
I saw these words echoed in an episode of one of my favorite shows, “Six Feet Under,” and thought about them for a long time.
There is no word for a parent that loses a child. Anyone knows how devastating it is for a parent that loses a child, and no matter how much I’ve gone through, I can’t even imagine what’s it like to lose a child as a parent. Losing a spouse is universal enough that we have a word for it. Losing a parent is universal enough that we have a word for it.
What does it mean to have a word for something? It means we can grapple with it as humans and can reconcile with it. A name and a label give a sensation universality and validation. But when there’s no word for something? It means it’s something we don’t even want to think about — and losing a child is one of those things.
