Things They Don’t Tell You About Therapy
A guide for the uninitiated.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of therapy and I’ve had almost all of them: cognitive behavioural (the starter marriage of the therapies); behavioural activation; interpersonal; mindfulness (not as soppy as it sounds); psychodynamic; the fireside chat (only the very best therapists can do this because it is anything but yet also sort of is, all at the same time).
But therapy’s not for everyone and sometimes even those who recognise its value chicken out. Because it’s hard work, and a serious investment (in all senses of that word).
And there are some downsides. They’re worth enduring—nothing truly worthwhile is easy—but it’s useful to know about them from the outset. So here’s what I think they are.
It gets worse before it gets better.
It takes time, lots of time. And it’s exhausting. Getting to the root of who we are, and why we are that way, is not straightforward and the easy answers are invariably red herrings. Sometimes, the process feels counterintuitive. Many of us are very good at boxing up the past and storing it in the attic: out of sight, out of mind. Therapy—at the risk of overextending the metaphor—busts into the roof rafters and designs a loft conversion.
