This Pain Will Have Its Place

Words of wisdom.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

I don’t know where it was that I initially heard this phrase.

Tumblr probably, among the vast wealth of shockingly valuable wisdom perpetuated by the young minds there. Needless to say it certainly wasn’t my brain that spawned such profound words.

I’ve always had issue with the concept of “this happens for a reason.” Age-old cliches such as that, or “this pain will pass,” and all quips similar in notion seem juvenile and insensitive to me. In their own way they minimize suffering, implying that

A) it is actually a good thing that is happening,

or

B) that their suffering is not significant because it will simply go away eventually.

If you spend any amount of time on this planet as a human being, you’ll know that’s horse shit.

Its horse shit because there is no “good” within sight for the individual who is feeling that pain. At least, not any amount of optimism that can be seen in the moment. And because, regardless of whether or not the pain may pass, saying so doesn’t make hardship any easier to cope with in the moment. Nor does telling someone their suffering will go away help that person actually believe that there is relief coming. Many times, especially in the case of grief, the very concept of a life past the hurt being experienced is an impossibility.

This Pain Will Have Its Place.

I wasn’t struck by the words initially. It was later, as I went about my day, that the sentiment behind them began to sink in.

You hear of people claiming they don’t regret their mistakes or the illnesses with which they’ve struggled. That they’re grateful for the difficulties they’ve lived through because it made them who they are.

Whether its a mental or physical malady, its not unheard of for an individual to embrace what that sickness brought to their life, rather than ruminate over the negative aspects it inflicted instead.

I think the phrase above sums up the mindset propelling that outlook pretty well.

This pain will have its place in your life. It will teach you something that will stay with you for the rest of your days. It will give you gratitude for something lost, as well as a heightened ability to appreciate what you have presently.

This suffering will teach you patience and introspection, and help you develop the skills and a well of trust in your power as a human being relating to your ability to overcome hardship.

This hurt will have its place in your life, once you’ve navigated through it. These moments will show you who you are, mold you into something different, and if wielded correctly can maneuver you onto a path you choose for yourself.

There is no one reason that bad things happen. But there is a multitude of results and lessons to be learned from the suffering you experience. The pain that is felt in the moment wields the potential to birth a shimmering mandala of possibilities and new strength.

While still offering a similar notion as the cliche’s that are usually presented in times of hardship, “this pain will have its place” is a softer, more insightful sort of approach to life that is more realistic in nature and, in my opinion, significantly less demeaning. It acknowledges the suffering and encourages despite it. It offers hope without stealing validity from the trauma that spurred its usage.

As an individual who struggles on a daily basis with the commonplace anguish perpetuated by a mental illness, I know that the pain I feel has its place in my life right now. And it will continue to do so in years to come.

I hope this helps you, too, reader, if you’re hurting. Words can only offer so much, but their power are the blocks upon which we build who we are as we heal.