Under Water
My waters are deep and calm. Sometimes black and thick like oil, sometimes warm like a summer pond, sometimes cold like Norway. But waters stay still. Dragging me down with the calmness of a seducer who knows her stuff. If I let go I dive deeper and deeper where sunlight is a faint memory, a voice that disappears with an echo. And I don’t breathe, you can’t do that underwater. So I remain still waiting for a push that will briefly surface my face. For a brief moment. A moment of oxygen.
I breaaaaathe, and breaaathe. Then my heart full of lead drags me down again to merge with the bottom.
That’s depression. A lead weight that drags me down. Into the deep, where unimaginable creatures lurk for a prey, for my very soul. I can feel them. They take shapes of my fears and my sins. The creatures of the deep. But they don’t live at the bottom. I know no bottom, just the deep. The bottom is much lower and it has no surface. I’ve never been there. It is much worse than the creatures I meet on the way down. It is made of fluid rocks that burn eternally in plasma that no waters can calm. Once there no one makes it to the surface again. It is just too deep.
I think about the bottom and I think about letting go, to lose myself and let the bottom embrace me with eternal pain. But, I just think about it and talk with the creatures of the deep that suddenly don’t feel that terrible. Then I discover that I can surface again, for a brief moment. The moment of oxygen.
As I find myself above the surface I see a surfer riding the waves and kids watching her and smiling. I wish I had that life, I could watch her forever. That’s life, that’s where there’s no depression. No diving suit needed, just light skin and eyes that are bluer than the skies and the seas. I wish I could see that surfing girl again. Splitting the waves, leaving a white furrow behind and dolphins that can’t match her speed.
You people wouldn’t believe what I have seen in the deeps. If you knew you would cherish every breath of fresh air you take. Don’t hold your breath. Take it. Every time, because you are free. Taste the oxygen, have you tried it? Try it. I promise you it is wonderful. Wonderful.
Time to dive.
