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Unpacking Conflict Avoidance in Your Relationship
How childhood trauma can lead to a fear of conflict.
The idea of never arguing with our partner is a fantasy most of us wish we could achieve. Yet, a hard truth is that we already know that any relationship that is without an occasional disagreement is unhealthy. Couples who claim they “never argue” are not communicating their needs and feelings on what really matters; hence why they “never argue.”
If a couple suggests there are never any arguments between them, they are either living in denial about the gravity of superficiality that encompasses their relationship, or they have already passed the point of no return and are living in resentment and contempt where any chance of deep conversation is moot.
Couples argue. Yes, even healthy relationships will see couples reaching an impasse on some things. However, what separates unhealthy couples from healthy ones is ironically (or not) the consistency and quality of how intimately they communicate with each other, especially during times of conflict. Healthy couples are solution-focused. They fight fair and use the “us against the problem” mindset, instead of “us against each other”.
To suggest that a couple will never argue is unrealistic and a sign of hopeless romanticism. There will be inevitable…