What Does Depression Feel Like?
You wake up, and you already know that today is ruined
My depression started when I was fifteen, and like many others, I find it hard to pinpoint exactly when, as it crept in so slowly that I didn’t even recognise what it was at first. It has stolen the majority of the years since. The people I have shared it with don’t always react as you would hope, but fortunately, some do accept my mental illness and struggle. A friend once asked me, while inebriated, what it actually feels like. She said that she felt sad sometimes but couldn’t imagine feeling that sad, all the time. She couldn’t understand feeling so sad that you don’t think it could get better, that you consider the alternative to be preferable.
So I decided to write this piece, to give you a little sneak peek into the mind of Depression. It won’t be the same for everyone, and I’ll do my best to offer a generalised account but no two people feel the same. Maybe you’ll recognise the things I mention, maybe you won’t, but I hope that by giving you a few minutes of the darkness, you’ll recognise how beautiful the light truly is and that everyone deserves to experience it.
You wake up if it even is waking up, as you slept so poorly, tossing and turning all night. You wake up, and you already know that today is ruined. It’s not a thought or an idea…
