What It Really Means If You Can’t Be Alone
Unpacking core wounds associated with rebound relationships.
Some of the worst advice I have ever received was years ago when someone told me “…the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.” Aside from feeling the sudden urge for a hot shower and a shot of penicillin after hearing that, I graciously tapped out and said I wasn’t quite ready for another relationship. Granted, hearing this advice was not a far cry from other suggestions I’ve heard over the years, including,” …just move on, let it go, and get over it” which were offered as a way of dodging the grieving process.
The irony is that the people telling me these things had histories of their own relationship struggles, had similar conditioned patterns of relationship hopping as their family members, or had just left one long-term relationship for another they had on the side.
Suffice to say, I filed their advice under “Thanks, but No Thanks”.
The more bad advice I received, the more questions were left unanswered. I still didn’t understand how some people seemed to effortlessly leave their previous persona, their memories, and their grieving in the past and could immediately take up a new relationship, and often a new identity to go with it. I knew I was young and naïve and didn’t…
