What They Don’t Tell You in Therapy
But you need to know.
The short answer to that query is, many things.
The long answer goes something like this:
You cannot beat your depression. It is something you might carry for the rest of your life.
It might reappear in different forms, at different points in your life. At first it can present as hopelessness and despair, next it could mute your senses, and another time perhaps leave you confused and desperately introverted.
People who were a part of your life when your depression was at its worst can come back into your life. That is a possibility. And when they do, they might throw you completely off kilter.
Though medications will keep you sane for some time, it is possible they will become less efficacious over time. And you will forget the euphoria of life you once knew.
You might sleep for 12 hours each night for months until you realize it is your depression, and it is back.
There is no easy way to talk about your depression. There is no easy way to tell people that you are depressed.
You won’t know how to respond to comments like, but you don’t seem depressed.
It will take you even longer than the first time to reach out to get the help you desperately need.
You might feel guilty when you see signs of depression in other people, and never say anything about it, until it’s too late.
You might never want to have children. You might be fearful of passing on your disorder.
The reality of this is, it will be a lifelong battle. Some days you will win. Some days you will lose.
Your depression will present a battle. You will be a stronger person because of it.
You might want to have children. You will see it as a challenge if they do inherit your genes, but you will be there to serve their ultimate support system and help them to face the adversity.
You might have the ability to see depression in other people, and you might be able to save their lives.
It will take you a long time to reach out for help. But you will eventually.
You will understand people’s lack of understanding about the disorder. And because of that you will become an advocate to educate and raise awareness of the condition.
It will get easier to talk about your depression.
You might sleep 12 hours a night for months. You will realize that maybe your depression is back. And you will garner the strength to seek therapy, which helped you before.
Your medications might become less efficacious over time. Your body is a beautiful, fluid thing, and it changes over time. It’s not becoming weaker, but it is changing. It might require aid from different, more, or new synthetic materials to function at different stages.
People from the depressed portion of your life will come back into your life. And you will be stronger, and wiser, and you will know how to compartmentalize their existence and intersection with your being.
Your depression will present in different forms, attacking from different angles and vying at different Achilles heels in your body and mind. Each time you fend one off you acquire new insight on how to manage these obstacles.
You cannot beat your depression. It is something you will carry for the rest of your life.
However, the things we carry, rather how we carry the things we carry, makes us who we are and makes us unique.
Because of your depression you will be able to feel more deeply. You will be able to relate more sincerely. You will be able to be more honestly.