What Trauma Bonds Can Teach About Love
Is it really “love” or something else that is keeping you stuck?
What defines a healthy relationship? First, this is not a loaded question. I understand that the specifics on what will identify “healthy” to you may differ from what someone else identifies as healthy. It can be subjective, based on who you ask. Healthy — as with most things — is along a continuum. Yet, most of us can probably agree that a healthy relationship is one that includes honesty, trust, and genuine compatibility that nurture a deeper connection between two people.
However, what identifies an unhealthy or trauma bonded relationship is pretty universal. These are the romantic relationships that start off hard and fast and are filled with intensity and chemistry, but slowly (and intermittently) start making you question yourself and your judgment. Because they run hot and cold, the “in-between” times when things are status quo are when you usually start wondering if the relationship is toxic, or if something is “wrong” with you.
This is where “boredom” can set in, which is especially common for anyone who is used to impulsive and unpredictable relationships as comfortable. I refer to this quiet tension as the calm before the storm; those moments where things are almost too quiet, and too “perfect”. It is this…
