When Both Partners in a Relationship Have Mental Illness

Image by Erik Lucatero at Unsplash

In our individualistic society, therapists, counselors, and researchers tend to focus on individual people, not their families or relationships. However, studies show a positive correlation between one partner struggling with mental illness and the other partner sharing that same struggle, and sometimes one person’s mental illness is a direct response to the other’s condition.

That’s the way it is in my marriage. I’ve had problems with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember, and my husband suffers from combat-related PTSD. We both have a history of substance abuse, too. Combine all those factors into one partnership, and life can get a bit messy.

It turns out that we aren’t alone. Studies have shown that people with mental illness are two to three times more likely to choose partners who also have mental illness. Some conditions, such as schizophrenia and ADHD, are seven times more likely to be present in both partners, while autism is ten times more likely to be shared between significant others. This means they’re also more likely to pass their mental illness on to their kids.

Pierre Imlay, a mental health therapist at Fraser Health Authority at the University of Western Ontario, says that a healthy relationship can help both partners better cope with their emotional and physical…