When Words Fail — How to Help Someone Who is Grieving
11 Things to do — and NOT do — to ensure that your relationship lasts when loss or adversity strikes.
Many of us have been there — the awkward moment when someone we care for is deep in despair. Maybe their eyes are red and wet, or their shoulders are rounded and shaking. Maybe their chest is heaving through shallow breaths or their head and neck are limp, as if all hope of resurgence is lost. Maybe the cloud of preternatural silence has settled in, leaving them empty and mute.
And there we are, between stimulus and response. We wonder what to say or what not to say. We worry about having nothing to say or saying the wrong thing. We might even convince ourselves that our friend or loved one needs some “time alone to cope,” when in reality it’s our own discomfort that we are trying to avoid.
Research shows that love and connectedness are essential for healing in the wake of challenge or loss. So, show you care by being there. While no one approach is perfect, here are some best practices that I’ve learned as both a therapist and clinical ethicist and as someone who has been, on occasion, also shrouded in despair.
