“Where There Is Life, There Is Suffering” — Let’s Address That

Sean Clarke
Sep 8, 2018 · 4 min read

A wise man once said;

“where there is life, there is suffering”.

That man was the Buddha. Fast forward 2500 years and the human race is still trying to eliminate suffering in daily life.

Anxiety has dictated how and what I’ve done for most of my life. Since before I can remember, I’ve been trying to fight against how I naturally feel, thinking that I had to constantly find new things to make myself feel better.

Exercise? CBT? antidepressants? Maybe a new car or job would help?

I’ve tried to incorporate all of these things into my life in some shape or form to tackle what I have thought of as ‘a lifelong problem’. And that’s human nature, we keep pushing and pushing, forever trying to get better and stronger. That’s evolution I guess…

The point is, I was someone who used to think that ‘things’ would make me feel better. Much of my anxiety has been from feeling ‘not good enough’, or because of feeling like I’m not where I imagined myself to be. I have spent years craving what my parents had at my age;

  • A house
  • Two cars
  • A well paid job

I used to think that the above would make me feel better about myself, and make me feel fulfilled. Maybe I even wanted to show off a little and make it seem like I had it all figured out.

For most of us, we feel a constant craving for better ‘things’ and a better life. However it’s not the ‘thing’ we crave, it’s the feeling that we think the ‘thing’ will give us. The object that we think will bring contemptment is often just something that fills a void in us momentarily, before we go back to craving more again.

New house? Great! Now I want a bigger house…

New phone? Great! Now I want the latest one!…

And so the cycle continues, over and over, like a merry-go-round with no off button.

You and I suffer because we feel inadequate within ourselves, never feeling truly content with what we have. We feel anxious because we feel like we need others to like and love us, to stroke our egos and make us feel as if we are important in some way.

We try to eliminate suffering in all its forms by constantly battling it, believing that one day we will be free from suffering and live happily ever after.

If we have everything that we ever wanted, wouldn’t we be happier?

Simply put — no.

We know this by looking at Hollywood. Some of the biggest stars of our time have found themselves living their wildest dreams. The very things they had worked hard to achieve ended up bringing them no real inner fulfilment.

The sad truth is, when the expectation does not meet the reality, depression, isolation, substance abuse and suicidal tendencies can creep in. A void from within is momentarily filled and then emptiness returns once again.

Break free from attachments, find inner peace.

If we can understand that suffering will always be present in life, we can then work towards lowering it by removing our cravings and attachments. Even acknowledging this is enough to make a switch in our mindsets. This is not to say that we throw away all of the things that we cherish.

Instead, this means that we remove the hold that these things and ideas have over us. For example, I felt anxious for many years thinking that once I got the job I wanted, I would be fulfilled and my life would be almost complete.

A new job is great, but it is not the source of my ongoing happiness.

The truth is, that was just an idea that I had designed in my own mind. It was never a ‘real thing’. That job soon enough left me feeling just as empty as before, because I still had the cravings and desire for the next thing.

Put simply, my suffering continued. My anxiety continued, and I still felt ‘not good enough’.

So how can we get to a place that makes us feel fulfilled? I believe it comes from a mixture of understanding that everything is temporary, and living in the present moment. The problem most people have is — the present moment is never good enough for them.

The final picture in our minds gives us hope and something to aim towards, however it is not a real thing. It is an idea, an expectation we put on ourselves. We then wake up, not only where we didn’t think we would be, but we have realised that we’ve missed the last 50 years of our life.

The Buddha taught others how to rely on their own emotional stability, rather than praying to a god for help, or him for help. Instead, he wanted people to believe and do what felt right to them in the moment. He wanted people to not hold onto other peoples ideas of what is ‘right’ or what society wants you to do.

Imagine how free you would feel if you let go of the ideas that hold you back and make you feel inadequate. What if you understood that suffering is always part of living, and you can rely on yourself to do what feels right?

For me, this is where contemptment has come from. To have self awareness of these basic truths can bring relief from expectations and pressures.

Please visit https://projectenergise.com/blog/ for more

Invisible Illness

Sean Clarke

Written by

Hi, My name’s Sean. I’m the author at http://www.projectenergise.com. Answering life’s tough questions and exploring mental health.

Invisible Illness

We don't talk enough about mental health.

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