Why is living in the moment a bad idea?
It is a trojan horse for mentally ill. I will debunk it in this post.
Mindfulness (momentariness, whateverness, emptiness) is a contemporary psychological commodity conveniently spread across the western civilization that is heavily burdened with existential horrors of common men.
Mindfulness attacks the niches of human existence characterized by emptiness, depression, anxiety, stress, existential challenges fueled by the materialistic media-driven way of life. It is a fertile soil for all kinds of helpers and saviors who offer a convenient or easy way out of the death spiral.
However, it is a question of depth. If you are in the outer parts of the vortex it may help, just as would exercise or a fun evening with your friends, or having sex, all for which you don’t have to pay for(if you are lucky). But if you are caught deeper inside the loop, well, then it will just drain your energy further.
This is a dangerous territory. Here are three scenarios based on real people experiences, names changed.
Depression
Martina has been suffering from depression for more than two years. Because of her migraines and appropriate medication, she can’t take the full spectrum of antidepressants and antipsychotics. As an alternative, she spends her money on second opinion doctors and more or less suspicious life coaches and cockroaches (pardon my sarcasm) that do not help at all. She is still depressed. She tried mindfulness but she got worse by trying to concentrate on the moment which was full of horror. She only discovered new ways of taking her own life(in her own words), totally unready for the moment.
What she needs is hope.
Anxiety
Robert suffers from an anxiety disorder. He is on 3mg Xanax a day, doesn’t sleep well, caught in a loop of physical fear and stress, unable to break out. He is beginning to develop a depression alongside his anxiety. He was hospitalized twice. Lost his job position. Has deep existential fears and a family to take care of. The pressure is immense.
He didn’t try mindfulness, but if he did it would tear him apart. The present moment is unbearable. It doesn’t help him to think about the future because there is nothing pretty there either.
What he needs is hope.
PTSD
Antun (Anthony) is a Croatian war veteran. During the War of Independence, he served as a lieutenant and was a platoon leader. While he is ok now, he remembers one particularly horrible day at the frontline. Under heavy mortar shelling his soldiers dug themselves deep into the foxholes holding on to their trusty Kalashnikovs until their knuckles became white. In between rains of shells, there were calm windows of peace lasting for about an hour or less. These were the toughest moments because the soldiers had time to think. To think about the moment. And it was the worst thing to do. To keep the spirits up and to prevent them from concentrating on the moment, he led them into a conversation about the future. What would they make of their lives after the war? He heard some heart warming stories, future scenarios that were meant to be.
Not all of them came true. Some futures died along with their prophets shot down by enemy fire.
But he gave them hope.
The solution
What we, mentally ill need is a Goldilocks zone. We need a time frame where we can feel more comfortable, have some breathing space. So let me give you an advice that helped me to cope with my depression and anxiety. It was not the moment, which was always terrifying. It was the amount of one day. Not too short like present moment, not too long like life. Just about right time for me to breathe and plan.
The Goldilocks zone. Each day that helped me to work on a hope for tomorrow. The Hope. It kept me going, not the present moment. One day was just the right amount for me.
Humans are beings of belief and hope. We can choose to go into the future in our minds and find some hope there. We are not cats. Cats live in the present moment. We cannot be reduced to cats. I can’t.
Conclusion
Mindfulness is a pseudo-religion with Buddhist roots (nothing wrong here), but it is not suitable for mentally ill especially those who are deeply depressed or anxious. It can be dangerous, and that covers a lot of territories.
My post-depression story begins with the New Testament and the words od Jesus. He said that we must not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. We must concentrate on the present day and deal with it alone. That commandment takes a tremendous load off. Although we are not fortune tellers, we have every right to believe that the future will be better than the present. That is called hope. Hope. It separates us from animals.
Not the moment, but today’s issues to resolve and a better tomorrow to hope for.
