Why You Feel Lonely Healing From Trauma
Loneliness is a part of healing, but it’s not the final destination.
Why is there so much loneliness involved in healing?” I get asked this question all the time from clients. To answer this question, we first have to define what loneliness isn’t. For example, if a person feels like they belong to a tribe of people who understand them, and who can relate to their lived experiences, then they probably feel like they belong. Belongingness is critical for developing a sense of feeling seen, heard, and validated and is one of the biggest buffers against feeling lonely.
On the flipside, you may have developed a deep sense of feeling out of sorts with others where a lack of belongingness or social isolation are experienced. This is especially common when healing from childhood attachment trauma, neglect or abuse. Because loneliness is rooted in feeling misunderstood or ostracized, feeling lonely can be triggered within the healing process when core wounds surface, which can further reinforce feeling unwanted or not accepted for who you are.
No one wants to be alone with their thoughts or ruminate on their trauma while running the risk of re-traumatizing themselves. Yet, being surrounded by others and actually feeling like you belong to part of a group can feel overwhelming and trigger…
