You Are Not Broken. You Are Human.
The world is designed to fight against perfection. In the eyes of modern media, perfection is the model smiling family, and other angelic, happy people they choose to push through their media outlets.
Over and over we see signs, television shows, news clips, and other media that reinforces modern culture’s view — if you aren’t happy, you are broken.
You are not broken.
You are human.
People are afraid of their faults. They are afraid of weakness. As someone who fights depression, I find that I am stronger than those who deny our existence.
If I was asked, “Are there people who deny your depression?” I could write an ever growing list of people. That list would include cases where people think:
- You’re just being sad.
- You’re just being lazy.
- You’re plain crazy.
We’re not any of those things.
Sadness Is a Symptom of a Much Larger Problem.
I always liked what Marilyn Manson said in a radio interview. To paraphrase, as I can’t remember the exact words or interview source, he said something to the effect of, “I’m not sad. I have everything. The problem is that I know I should be happy, but I can’t feel happiness.”
When I heard that interview, it resonated with me, sitting in the back of my mind, waiting. I think of it often.
Depression Isn’t Sadness. It Isn’t Laziness. It Isn’t Being Crazy.
It’s an inability for us to feel happiness and joy when we know we should. We might have everything in the world; a job, family, and friends.
When I sink into a depression, I start thinking over and over, “Why do I feel this way? I’m better off than people in third world countries. I can pay my bills, watch movies, and play board games. Why do I feel this way?”
The answer: because I have a demon reinforced by years and years of emotional abuse. A demon who refuses to leave. It sits there, waiting for its moment to attack and pull me into a dark, never-ending abyss.
I’m not broken.
No matter what people say. No matter what the media, politicians, family, or friends say, I’m not broken.
I’m a Human with Human Experiences and Emotions.
Some of those experiences created a dark passenger who wants to destroy my world.
When I learned I was depressed, I worked hard to claw my way out of the abyss, ripping myself from the clutches of the demon. It still reaches out and grabs me, pulling me back down from time to time, but I know the demon is there.
The work I’ve done gave me meaning in life. I found out who I really am and what makes me happy.
Writing gives me meaning and purpose in life. It fills the abyss with light, pushing the demon farther down. Writing fuels my fight.
When I realized I wasn’t broken, I worked, I learned, and I became stronger.
Now, I’m stronger than those who deny my struggle. They don’t know what it is like to constantly battle yourself day in and out.
We Are Stronger Than Those Who Don’t Fight with Themselves.
We know more about ourselves, our values, what makes us happy, what we want, and what we need.
Learning is not done easily. It is accomplished through struggle, chaos, and experience.
We work hard to learn about ourselves.
You are not broken. You are a human on a journey.
Find help for your depression. Accept your fight and learn from it. Turn the war of depression into your strength.
Will writes the action-packed urban fantasy series The Fae Awakening to fuel the army fighting his depression. The series follows Hunter as he teams up with Fae creatures — ogres, brownies, goblins, and more — to take down unicorns covered in fire, chase their monstrous friends, and stop dangerous enemies at all costs.
Read Sugar High, a Fae Awakening short story about goblins and a sugar addicted porcupine robbing an ATM, available on Medium.