As much as we want to believe it’s gone, it isn’t

It’s May, and mental health awareness month has started. Every year I look forward to the social media programming: the people who share stories of recovery, those receiving support for their current struggles, and the community of providers on social media sharing amazing mental health content. I feel so much solidarity with all of these groups because I’ve been one of them at some point in my life.

As a psychotherapist and someone who identifies as a wounded healer, I feel so honored to witness others’ stories, especially on social media. Even just a few years ago, some people wouldn’t…


Different strokes for different folks

Introduction

In the psychiatric community, borderline personality disorder (BPD) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) tend to be spoken in the same breath. Diagnosed with BPD? Then you need to enter DBT treatment. I was one of those individuals for whom DBT was the first-line treatment when I was diagnosed with BPD in 1990, following my second suicide attempt.

According to the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder (NEABPD), “BPD can be defined as a serious mental illness that centers on the inability to manage emotions effectively. …


Finding connection in a lonely world.

Since the beginning, humans have needed others — regardless of gender, ethnicity, or geographic location, we are social creatures. Quality relationships make us happier, healthier, and more productive. Social support buffers stress and fulfills an important psychological need to belong and feel accepted by others.

In an ideal, harmonious world, we would all enjoy plenty of health-protecting relationships, but that is not the reality for many. A startling number of people struggle with loneliness. …


Mental Health

Here’s what I’ve learned about gendered relationships and self-awareness this year, and why TikTok thinks I’m queer.

Oh it’s funny how
The warning signs can feel like they’re butterflies

Graveyard, Halsey

Too long, I have tried to become something I am not

Take, for example, Exhibit A: Romance.
I am VERY bad at it, and I don’t enjoy it.

Perhaps that’s because my stomach lurches whenever I invest myself in something new (and therefore dangerous.)

Perhaps it’s because I dissociate and often snap back in rage under the slightest criticism. How dare they explore my insecurities. How dare they pretend to like me for who I am?

They smell my breath.
My face oozes emotion.
And when the tears do come, I can’t find the right words…


It’s the small things we do that can have a massive impact on our mental health.

Daily habits have a positive or negative impact on our mental health:

  • If you’re warm and nurturing to yourself in difficult moments, you’ll likely feel strong and empowered, which is great for your mental health.
  • Instead, if you’re constantly thinking you could’ve done better and you’re useless, you’re going to feel like crap.

Many of us will look for things to do to help us cope when we’re not feeling great.

However, the key is to develop habits that we utilise every day to help stop these low moments from happening.

That’s not to say we won’t have difficult periods…


For those of you living “in the dark” about this disorder, there are some things we desperately need you to understand

One hour. You have one hour to figure out how to defuse a bomb that could be disastrous.

There’s no one else but you. And you have to dismantle it. Which wire do you cut? The red? The blue? The yellow? The green?

Your heart is pumping as if it will jump out of your chest. Fear clouds your mind, making the situation worse. And even though you know panicking is the worst thing to do, it’s like a battering ram, barging in whether you like it or not.

That ticking time bomb? That sense of impending doom?

That’s what…


Anxiety and the millennial mind

Living with anxiety is feeling like you’re always walking on a tightrope. You’re aware of each step, and you have to be, as one misstep means everything is over. You second guess each movement, and you’re desperately grabbling for balance as you feel the weight of the world in your stomach. Then, when you let go, for just a split second, for just a harmless joke or rushed sentiment, you fall, and you keep falling, and you know that you were right to feel so anxious.

I am a millennial living with anxiety, and I’m not the only one, far…


Sometimes the best thing we do for people who are depressed is agree with them

Over the years, depression has been viewed in all kinds of different ways. In the 1980s, the best and brightest minds believed it was caused by low self-esteem. “If only we could raise their self-image, they would be cured!”

Then there was the idea that depression happened due to ‘faulty thinking,’ that if we could fix the depressive thoughts, we could cure the depression. When that didn’t work, professionals pivoted to “Their thoughts aren’t faulty after all, they are the only ones who see the world as it truly is!”

Now we’re in a time when we recognize that mental…


Peeling back the layers of trauma recovery

For years, like most people, I’ve yearned for the qualities of a partnership that so many of us seek: a safe space to be seen and heard. The privilege of knowing another like no other. The beauty and ache of committing to witnessing the ever-changing universe that lives in another’s soul, and offering up the universe within self in return.

Yet for years, I’ve wrestled with the soul-shredding truth that the one thing essential to most fulfilling partnerships is something I’ve never been able to offer.

I know how to show up with mind and soul, but I’ve not yet…


Sometimes you have to trust your feelings and seek better mental health care

A good doctor is hard to come by, and I’ve met my fair share of wrong doctors in my life. But there are some mental health providers out there who simply should not be seeing patients.

I went to see a new doctor before the COVID-19 pandemic had even begun. I was anxious, scared, and overall feeling uncomfortable in my skin. I wanted to feel normal, so I reached out for help.

It was challenging to find a provider accepting new patients, and it wasn’t going to be too expensive. …

Invisible Illness

We don't talk enough about mental health.

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