"Don’t come in Except You’re on Fire”
How I learnt to deal with distractions
Before I start writing daily, I usually sound this warning to my 13 year old niece, Zim and my dog, Choco, to leave me to have a few minutes of writing before I go on to do other things.
This means no thumping or ‘Super Man Punching’ or coming in to ask for the location of the orange juice randomly, during my set out creative time. I had to learn the hard way, like most writers, to nip distractions on the bud or end up letting it ruin my day.
What Are Distractions?
Distractions are bumps on the road, setbacks, unplanned events, or failed plans that cause forks on the road leading to the places we least expect.
When people say they are distracted, it’s simply that they are pulled away either momentarily or a prolonged period from what they’re supposed to be doing.
They are interruptions we have control over and those we do not.
While most of these distractions happen online, some happen to us naturally in the course of our everyday lives.
For example, you have this 1000 word article you need to publish within the hour and your colleague comes inside with a box of doughnuts and offering you one, asks, oozing with intrigue, if you know what happened in the lobby earlier that day.
You know what that box represents and you know what accepting it will cost you: a few minutes of your time or more, depending on how caught up in or exciting the story is.
You don’t really want to get caught up in the excitement but you don’t want to hurt your colleague’s feeling either. And this is a dilemma.
Distractions- The Doughnut Box Scenario
The doughnut box scenario will fall under the list of distractions you can control.
Each bite of that ‘chocolate glazed’ gossip will be yummy but it may not really be worth it in the end.
Every day, we are surrounded with these distractions.
But unlike your colleague’s gossip you can dismiss with a sweetly worded ‘no’, there are some you can’t control-
an unexpected guest, a heartbreaking news, or your month’s old baby screaming at 3am in the morning.
I’ve come to realize that these ‘boxes’ may not always be a choice but they’ll turn your day around for better or worse.
Distractions in Life
Distractions in life usually come unexpected. The key purpose of distractions is to keep you back from doing what you’re supposed to do but who told you you’re always on the right road?
Sometimes distractions keep us from doing what we’re not supposed to do.
When we were younger we got accustomed with the popular saying ‘everything happens for a reason.’
This can be annoying especially when we’re experiencing some kind of loss.
Most times, especially in the heat of the events, we don’t realize the lesson we’re learning. We only appreciate the quality of our lessons moments after, when all the noise is gone.
It’s normal to get pissed off when you do not realize this early because no one likes getting their plans interrupted.
When the dunes rest and the mist clears, we realize we have been travelling on the wrong side of the road all along.
When we don’t realize the purpose of distractions, we call them setbacks.
But when we do, we call them timely miracles.
Each has their purpose and it may take just a little bit of patience to decide which one is which.
#Myth 1
Distractions Puncture our Plans
“The whole self-esteem movement taught us erroneously that praising intelligence, talent, abilities would foster self-confidence, self-esteem and everything great will follow. But we’ve found it backfires. People who are praised for talent now worry about doing the next thing, about taking on the hard task, and not looking talented, tarnishing that reputation for brilliance. So instead, they’ll stick to their comfort zone and get really defensive when they hit setbacks.
-Carol Dweck, The Right Mindset for Success.
In essence, when we get really praised, it chains us down to expectations and we get not only very cautious but very wary of making mistakes and this restricts creativity.
We are taught to detest any type of halting.
And failure is shunned at all costs. Nobody likes waiting and sometimes distractions will do just that- turn our lives on its toes and leave us reeling.
But the thing is, no matter how we might try, life does not always go as planned.
As Bailey says, “Directing your attention toward the most important object of your choosing — and then sustaining that attention — is the most consequential decision we will make throughout the day. We are what we pay attention to.”
This is not always easy in real life matters.
Because of the pandemic, most of us have adapted to working from home.
Though incidences of distractions are fewer on the home front, working from home has changed the dynamics of working relations as we are no longer cautious of being bugged by for example talkative colleagues but instead, a plethora of household and digital noises.
Like most people, I get very easily distracted when I’m writing.
It might be a call, or a loud thump or my two year old Alsatian Choco, looking for her chew toy but I’ve learnt to deal with this to get any level of creative work done.
Usually, I get my headset and lock myself in the privacy of my study for a few hours where I can get all my writing done for the day.
But I’ll be honest and say that sometimes this does not always work out the way I want it to.
This happens when I need to handle some emergencies.
Most times, when I’m forced out of my creative zone, I’m pissed off. I lose my train of thought and sometimes, it takes me more than a few seconds to get it back.
However, with time, when faced with distractions, I like to chew my thoughts little by little as I go about my routine.
I found that I am filled with new insight and most times, I’m able to fill in the grey areas I couldn’t untangle in my work before.
I don’t see these interruptions as limiting anymore but rather as a way to recharge and give my subconscious an excuse to brainstorm.
And the results are marvelous!
This control came with accepting that I may not always be 100% in control of my creative space at all times.
Even when I bribe Choco with more than her fair share of dog treats. And that’s okay!
However, before my scheduled two hours of creative work these days, I put a big ‘Do not Disturb’ emboldened sign in front of my door to alert the detractors, pets and otherwise.
Except you’re on fire or about to pass out, you know I shouldn’t be disturbed.
As a result, I’ve discovered that distractions don’t always puncture our dreams or set us back. Sometimes, they set the way for us to get back on track by removing the clusters from our way.
#Myth 2
Distractions Stunt our Growth
One of the smartest things I did at Sevenly was to build custom walnut desk lamps for the entire team. They turned them on whenever they wanted to focus, and the rule was that no one was allowed to interrupt them when their lamp was on. All forty-five employees were allowed to have up to three hours of uninterrupted focus time per day — we had to limit it because that uninterrupted time was so addictive! I also equipped everyone with a squirt gun they could spray each other with when they were interrupted.”
-Dale Patridge
Focus is key for anything to work. For most people focused on outcome over anything else, distractions can be really painful. And sometimes, costly.
Just as taking that ‘doughnut crusted’ conversation will halt your progress and make you finish that job a lot later than you planned, distractions can seriously back-peddle your plans and this is not always bad.
But it’s necessary to have some of these experiences, or we’ll never become better.
Setbacks help us grow and most times it does not give us a choice.
The growth mindset is focused more on the outcome than the process, but most distractions will teach you the importance of staying through the process and learning to overcome the challenges.
#Myth 3
Distractions Are Time Consuming
On many busy roads, there is the use of road bumps and the principle purpose of road bumps is to slow down vehicles to avoid over speeding on the highway. I’ve discovered that setbacks are just that: amber lights that make us take a breather in our often fast paced lives.
Because these don’t give us time to choose, they help us stop and quickly too, sometimes right before we make some life threatening choices.
I like to liken setbacks to the human body.
- When it’s too cold, it makes us feel like covering ourselves up.
- When it’s too hot or humid, we suddenly desire to take a shower and
- When the food enters the wrong channel, we often resort to coughing or sneezing to cleanse our systems.
Sometimes our setbacks may be a result of some wrong choices but even in spite of them, these interruptions often come to give us a timely wake up call.
#Myth 4
Distractions are ‘Chocolate-Crusted’ Miracles
Distractions are usually not convenient and I hardly think they should be.
- A failed business may not get us pumped up but it will help us make better investment decisions.
- Gaining a few extra pounds may not help us feel snazzy but it may just inspire us to take that early morning run.
- And getting undesirable grades may not leave us cheery, but will motivate us to read just a few more pages of that voluminous course work for the next semester.
I think that life’s distractions come to clear the mist.
And this is the miracle for anyone willing to follow the process!
In our foggy circumstances, distractions come to clear the way to help us to adjust our side mirrors a little better to see the greener side of life.
Our life’s circumstances may not always be wonderful but deep within every painful experience is a lesson and sometimes, road bumps we missed on our speedy lane.
Distractions are two pronged forks which sometimes prune or renovate and every situation has a little of one.
In life’s confusion, it stills us, to teach us and get us ready for the next stage of life.
When things are going a little too smoothly and we’re not challenged enough, some setbacks may come to toughen us for the bigger things we are to face.
The spasms may not be pleasurable but they’ll be worth it in the end.
Nuggets to Nosh:
- Distractions do not puncture our plans. Rather, they set the way for us to get back on track by removing the clusters from our way.
- Distractions will not stunt our growth. Rather, they will teach us the importance of staying through the process and learning to overcome the challenges.
- Distractions are not time consuming. Rather, they often come to give us a timely wake up call
- Distractions are ‘chocolate-crusted’ miracles. They come to clear the way to help us to adjust our side mirrors a little better to see the greener side of life.
