
What does he do, if he decides to follow his heart every single time his heart harbours the feeling that he has been having a dream? What does he do, if he is ignorant to all the sacrifices and sufferings of others to support him? He doesn’t do anything.
All of a sudden his mind shifts, and he becomes a whole different person. He has already started forming an entire life around that tiny, minuscule speck of dream. Family history fitting snuggly in an imaginary world with imaginary people and culture.
Immediately that dream, he realises, has to become a reality for him to truly experience what it means to be happy. He decides to pursue his dream. He sets out in search of the best to support his latest ‘calling in life’. He does all that he seems fit, and proceeds home to admire his courage and ability to dare to follow his dreams.
The following weeks are filled with adrenaline and a sense of purpose. He sets out to work on the dream, forcing upon himself intense discipline and perseverance that will inevitably lead to a burnout. Over the course of the next three to four months, he gradually loses interest in them but he refuses to believe that and tries desperately hard to convince himself that he is chasing his dream and that is what he wants to do for the rest of his life. However, the toll of believing in something he doesn’t have a feeling towards becomes too much for him to bear and thus he retreats back to the warmth of his room, devoid of any motivation or energy to do anything but mope and stare out of his window.
This is the end of a cycle. From start to finish. The first of many cycles of a boy. A boy who lived in a world of his own, out of touch with the real world. A boy who couldn’t understand how the real world worked. A boy who didn’t understand how the consequences of his selfish actions affected everyone around him.
Soon enough, that cycle repeats itself. It starts off with a spark, which he carefully nurtures until it grows into a full ball of helium which will lift him off the ground into the fictional world of his. A cycle where he is able to feel alive and not devoid of feelings.

Sure it was short-term, but he figures that the short term high is worth the moping and emptiness which engulfs him afterwards. A cycle of ecstasy.
Of course, this system of thinking works for him if he doesn’t have responsibilities. There is only so much he can go ignorant before ignorant decides that it has had enough and come into his little imaginary world to slap some sense into him.
And of course, ignorant does just that. He comes in and gives the boy a beating, a real hard one.
Who is funding and supporting your dreams? Who is out there in the slaving away and sacrificing their dreams just so you can pursue your ‘dreams’? Has it never occured to you that your many short-term highs that you deem worth it is taking a toll on everyone around you? How ignorant can you be? The least you can do is make sure that your dream is really your dream, not every single damn speckle of dream that comes from your heart.
He was lost. He was overwhelmed. He couldn’t see what was blinding him — cash. His heart couldn’t take the insults it thought were thrown his way, just that there weren’t any insults being thrown at all. Just a reality check. But he couldn’t take it. He jumped the next day.
#15 — il y a beaucoup de choses dont on peut parler.

