oh, you thought | #11
oh, you thought. you thought that you were looking for love.
you were just looking for someone who could be there to listen to all your stories and how you day went. you were just looking for someone who would be there to offer emotional support whenever things get rough and don’t go your way. you were just looking for someone to be there to share your happiness and success and celebrate it with you. you were just looking for someone who would be the reason you go through everyday for, the reason you smile randomly at nothing in particular, the reason you go out of your way to do or get something that you know will make that person’s day.
you were just looking for reasons.
reasons to fill up the empty pockets in your life. reasons to convince yourself that you are not missing out on what life has to offer. reasons to go out of your way to make that special someone happy.
what you’re seeing, however, is love. you see happiness and devotion towards someone who will hold a special place in your heart. you see a future with that someone, a future where you can do everything you ever wanted together and share all the experiences with each other.
While i sit in my room laughing at this thing that i can’t wrap my head around, you are out there having the time of your life. i spend my days convincing myself that you got it all wrong. that you are completely wasting your time when you could have spent it doing something more productive such as starting your own business or travelling the world. that i am better off with more money for myself to spend on things that i want to do.
but the thing is, i am the one who got it all wrong. i am the one who is stuck in a black hole of sadness and anger and hatred for all the things that i do not have. i am the one who has convinced myself that everything that i do not have is something that i will never need in my life, that i am better off without it.
oh, i thought. i thought i didn’t need love. i thought that love was a stupid concept and a marketing ploy that was invented to turn people’s emotions to profit. i thought, i thought, i thought.
oh, i thought.
#11 – à vos souhaits.
