twenty-three | #26
change marks the spot
It’s been a couple of days since my twenty-third birthday, and I have yet to find the time and headspace to properly sit down and pen down my thoughts and reflections on this milestone event. Well, tonight I do. Twenty-three is a weird age to be in, because to me twenty-two was the defining line between my youth and adulthood, and everything after twenty-two would be adult-centric. That theory hasn’t been entirely correct, but it hasn’t been entirely wrong too.
Birthdays are kind of funny. They haven’t been the kind of milestones I see on social media where parties are thrown and everyone is busy getting drunk, instead, they have been more on the personal side for me. It used to be small intimate celebrations with close friends and family before morphing into what I currently experience now: a meal. Long texts and letters from friends who express their sentiments and gratitude toward our friendships have made way for simple one-liners before carrying on with our busy lives, and finding the time to gather together has become such a chore with the conflicting schedules. Of course, birthdays don’t exactly mean much to me personally other than the fact that they can be harnessed as an opportunity to gather those I hold dear to my heart and spend some quality time together amidst our busy adult lives. However, I can’t help but find even this increasingly difficult. I guess that's all just part and parcel of life, and that shifts occur naturally and often; the only constant in our ever-changing world.
Twenty-three. Over the past year since my twenty-second, I have noticed a shift in my mindset. More often than ever, the life decisions I have made have all gone through rigorous checks and balances before I decide on anything remotely major. I have noticed myself justifying my decision-making on what my foreseeable future self would thank my current self for, opting for delayed gratification instead of caving into instant gratification. I believe these have come with age and maturity, an area of personal growth that I have tied closely to the concept of the defining twenty-two line. In this area, the past year has been about me getting used to making more level-headed and mature decisions, something which I believe I will continue to hone in the later years of my life.
I guess the perfect word to describe my twenty-third birthday is change. It is simply a mark in a year that has been and will continue to be marked by change. While people, objects, goals, and titles may change, personal growth will never. It grows with age, and while there are many more milestones I want to hit before calling it a day, this birthday has served as a timely reminder to check in with myself from time to time (once a year, at least) and be kind to myself and all those around me.
Happy birthday, Ryan, and may you live to see another.
#26— la vie est belle.
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