Fearing the Unknown
A poem
I stood across my destined path
Fearing what will come in the way.
I prayed to God to keep me safe
He can drag all the difficulties away.
However, God is dead; He didn’t listen to my thoughts
I stumbled, fell and hurt myself, and cussed Him in despair.
The fear instilled in me came down to shiver
I lost my confidence midway.
I got up from the dust with bloody knees and a hurt sense of pride
The pain of betrayal was like a bitter wind that I didn’t want.
God’s quiet sounded harsh, like a hole in the sky.
But inside, a fire started and wouldn’t go out.
There was no divine hand to heal and no mumbled order
It was just the toughness of my soul-looking fate in the knee.
The road ahead looked foggy and uncertain
But the fear that had held me back before now pushed me forward.
I no longer begged for ease
I made my own compass out of the rules of suffering.
I have scars on my back from fights I’ve won
Each autumn has taught me something as the sun goes down.
My weak voice turned into a roar of defiance
It was no longer a whisper but a storm at war.
The ghosts of what could have been are gone
And the flames of a bright future have taken their place.
There was no need for words from the gods above
My inner direction would lead me to the sky.
With rough hands, I’d cut my way
Through tangled bushes and dangerous sands.
Because hope, which had been lost, was now flickering again
Powered by the fierce and true fire that burned inside.
I was no longer a piece in a game in heaven
I was the master, the artist, and the one who spoke.
Even if the weather gets worse and the sky stays quiet, my spirit will still bear its fruit.
Scars will be my armor, and grit will be my guide. I’ll face the unknown with success as my tide.
© Shuvranil Sanyal, 2024
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