I Hope You Can Forgive Me
We haven’t always gotten along
you doughy Christmas bun
just waiting for exuberant hands to hold you
me the sheepish owner who was never taught to love you
who doesn’t know how
to place hands over belly
in an act of radical acceptance
in an act of radical fucking self love
of adornment
of connection.
The center of my god given universe
every dimple, a star on the map of my life
each curve a memory
just waiting to be remembered
just waiting for that touch
to bring life to this forgotten grave yard
of desires.
My brain was lined with carnival mirrors
tricking me to believe my thoughts
unable to see
unable to witness the beauty
of all that she is
of all that I am.
For the first time in 32 years
I am looking at you with love
I am honoring your magnificent existence
I am, with wobbly eyes
gazing at your creation
trying to remember the time I turned my back on you
the moment I gaffed at your presence
rolled my eyes at your perfect plumpness
I’m sorry I deemed you unworthy of the nourishment
of the love
of the touch
that you so deeply deserved
for this belly
this womb
was made to be loved.
