I’m Not Crazy
Spoiler alert: I’m done apologizing.
I’m sorry,
I seem to have mistaken you for the air in my lungs.
My screams turn to gasps,
Solely dependent on the worth you’ve awarded me each passing day.
A voice is a privilege,
Opinions need to be earned,
Worth is a slippery slope you’ll never stop climbing,
And yet here I am trying.
Tearing nails into crumbling terrain,
Ripping the seeds I’ve nurtured straight from their roots.
Are you upset with me?
Why can’t I ever tell your truth from your lie?
Your words feign a kindness your tone betrays,
And I carry the implications within my chest
You never were very good at hiding it.
Good thing I’m an expert in excusing it.
Concealing your hostilities with faults that were once not my own.
Did you ever realize what you were doing?
Did you even notice?
At this point,
I’m not convinced the answer ever even mattered.
I love you.
But not the same way you loved me.
I know that now.
You made that distinction,
While you were burning the bridges you convinced me to cross.
It’s easy to wander in the purgatory of a love never returned.
Caught in the memory of a feeling in time.
As the moments lose their rose-tinted haze,
The lines that were crossed now become clear.
So, Here I sit,
Slowly untangling the knots you created in me.
Finally beginning to weave together the person I want to be.
