spring rain (and dust)
They talked about “letting the dust settle
as they listened to hard rain on their roof”.
Their subtle rejection hit their mark
with missile precision.
And with that strike
a deluge from my bloody eyes
the way a dam breaks
after a downpouring of heavy rain.
Floods predicted by the week’s end,
the prospect of pestilence to follow.
This was Yesterday.
It rained for the first time in months.
And it rained all day.
Almost halfway through Spring
it felt like winter.
Nothing has been able to rescue me
from a dark lake where I have sunk submerged
since those words spilled from their mouth.
I am in the water,
I am drowning.
My body, my flesh
too cold to move.
As my head slips under the water,
my vision is blinded by the murkiness.
Even if I were able to crawl out onto land,
I would still be saturated.
My lungs filled with sludge and tar
the muck sticking to every inch of my skin.
I spent the time
into the witching hours
looking at old photos
hoping the spring rain
would wash away more
than just my mood.
Today the storm clouds
rolling across the sky
do not seem anywhere
near as ominous.
Perhaps today,
the aroma of the first drops
of rain on the earth
the spore droplets of dust
somehow wet and dry
bursting at the same time
will throw me back
to that dormant childhood memory
and urge to venture out into the rain
as the heavens open up
and kick around in the soaking dirt.
I do not like watching dust settle.
Never have.
But the wet mud caked on
wrapped to form a cocoon
will deliver a cathartic cleanse.
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