Member-only story
Swallowed Feelings
Shame, Protection, and Coming Home to My Body
Swallowed feelings
I tried to make you invisible
Yet now you reveal yourself
In the layers of softness I carry
The padding protects from the outside world
But incites more internal judgements
As hands refuse to touch
And eyes look away
This separate appendage
Not the real me just created by me
An alien substance
A parasite feeding on confidence and pride
My beautiful body, what have I done?
Draped you in shame
Cloaked you in disregard
I have not cared for you
You longed for a caress from others
Yet my hand was here all along
You craved protection
Yet I drowned you in comparison
You protected me
While I held you at a distance
You carried me
While I refused to nourish you
I see you now
I know that we are one
And I will never abandon you again
Just as you never gave up on me.
