Children Need Their Fathers

To predict your community’s level of violent crime, check the number of single-parent households.

The statistical reality — of which experts are more than fully aware — is that fatherlessness plays a huge role in school shootings, along with crime and incarceration rates. But, most mainstream media outlets don’t have the guts to confront these statistics? Why? Because they don’t want to anger their female viewership, let alone rock the boat when it comes to the popular narrative that women can have it all and do it all — including motherhood — all by themselves.

The same day I asked,

I catch the following headline from CafeMom:

The “blessing in disguise” for the majority of these 15 women seems to have involved mostly starting their own business or moving ahead in their career. One woman was happy to be freed from a marriage to an addict. This I can understand. But, “freedom” to work more being the “best thing ever”? Not only does this foster the myth that women’s happiness is found in only in paid employment, but also, it has an unstated assumption: dads’ involvment with their children is a low prioritiy.

Again there is a statical reality, these mothers likely have primary, if not full custody of their children. These women proudly brag that they make enough money to pay for private schooling and vacations themselves. But, their ex’s place in their children’s lives is never discussed. How do the kids feel about their parents’ divorce? That is not a concern in this roundup of little affirmations of emancipation that even the author admits is a little Eat, Pray, Love.

This glamorized narrative stands in stark contrast to the true impact of fatherlessness in a child’s life. 72% of adolescent murderers and 60% of rapists grew up without a father, while 70% of juveniles in state institutions grew up in single-or no-parent situations. Want to predict the level of violent crime in your community? Forget poverty; look for the number of single-parent households.

Children raised by single mothers “show higher levels of aggressive behavior than children born to married mothers.” They are also more likely to grow up in poverty, be prone to drug and alcohol abuse, and “are more than twice as likely to commit suicide.” 71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.

Six out of the seven deadliest shootings that occurred in the U.S. between 2005 and 2015 were committed by men who grew up in fatherless homes.

Child advocates who are attempting to confront the plague of fatherlessness are often stonewalled by the same politicians who claim to support families. Over at Leading Women for Shared Parenting (LW4SP), Terry Brennan quotes Iron Ladies founder Leslie Loftis on fatherlessness noting:

Leslie Loftis recently asked “Fatherlessness: What are Republican’s Doing About It?” which decried the existence of “Court created Fatherlessness.” Historically, between 33% and 50% of children whose family experiences divorce lose complete contact with one parent within 3 years. Using the low estimate, US Family Courts create a Fatherless child every single minute of every single day.

40% of children are now born out of wedlock for at least one very good reason: Men are scared of marriage. They have a better chance of maintaining a relationship with their children if they never get married, than if they get married and risk divorce.

In an attempt to stem the tide of fatherlessness in America, LW4SP advocates for shared parenting after divorce, noting:

Shared Parenting is children spending a minimum of 35% of their time with each parent which is required for a child to even have a chance to bond with a parent. Children receive additional benefits as timesharing increases up to and including 50/50. As shared parenting isn’t suitable for every family, proposed legislation maintains judicial discretion to deal with circumstances like abuse, neglect, or abandonment.

You’d think mommy blogger sites would be the first to step up to the task of encouraging dads to participate in their children’s lives. Instead, scan the front page of The Stir and you’ll see one dad-related headline:

Over at Scary Mommy you get another token dad headline:

And the seemingly gender-neutral Well, forget about it. Dads don’t exist as far as they’re concerned.

In the wake of the most recent school shooting in Parkland, Florida, mommy blogs published tons of think pieces on gun control and fear. Little to no attention was paid to the fact that yet another fatherless child grew up to be a killer. It’s time to stand up to the popular narrative that mommies can do it all. We can’t. Our children need their fathers to be active participants in their lives. Our culture does, too. Women must decide what is truly scarier: An inanimate piece of metal, or facing the truth that our children need their fathers.