Senator Sinema, Your Code Pink Roots Are Showing

The latest blow to America’s style comes from its new hipster ruling class.

Kyrsten Sinema got her start in Code Pink. Code Pink is a group of women who run around supporting miscellaneous strongmen, and interrupting speeches of high profile Republican politicians. They say they are anti-war, but support many a foreign warmonger. I keep my fingers crossed that their latest object of devotion, Venezuelan dictator Maduro, is on his way out.

To be in Code Pink a woman has to act like a she-clown dressed in cheerful pink. So, Sinema has been photographed at protests in a pink tutu. And, perhaps, bloomers? It was not pretty.

Now that she is a junior Senator from Arizona, Sinema is moderating her pinks with mature hues of beige.

Granted, she showed up for her swearing in ceremony wearing what Twitter immediately recognized as a Dolores Umbridge coat. Under the coat was a butt tight skirt with a giant flower up her butt. Strange choice for a solemn occasion, but, I guess, if Madame Senator herself believes that she’s representing the meth lab of America, why not?

There is time and place for everything. Ok, not everything — that came out a little cheesy — but a lot of things. That dress would look sharp at a summer garden wedding. But the Senate swearing in? Odd.

I’m saying it all as an unorthodox fashionista who likes to break the rules of fashion. I think I know Kyrsten Sinema’s sartorial genre.

When breaking the rules of fashion — or arts in general — it is twice as important to actually know the rules we are breaking, why we are breaking them. Understanding color, texture, proportion helps tremendously. Also: remember your age.

Kyrsten Sinema doesn’t understand or remember such things. Yeah, that stripy pale pink dress she wore to the Senate session the other day was puke-ugly. However, a skillful fashionista can take an ugly dress and work it into a fresh outfit.

Sinema took an ugly dress and turned it into an unmitigated disaster. Her thigh high weatherproof boots were designed for coats and skinny jeans. They are simply too bulky for the sleeveless summer dress. The warm beige of the shoes clashes with the cool shades of the sheath.

She looked cheap because she doesn’t know the rules, and, therefore, is incapable of breaking them properly. Plus, she’s too old for the micro mini hemline… Well, even at her age she may pull it off on a date, and with different footwear, but in the halls of Senate? Nein!

And, of course, she has the right to dress any way she wants. But I have the right to judge her for her high profile fashion faux pas, too. And, really, at the age when Teen Vogue is printing softcore commie propaganda masked as fashion advice, and Vogue Vogue can’t find space to compliment FLOTUS on her elegant style, fashion of political figures is fair game. Not to mention that Sarah Palin was nailed for far lesser offenses, and the chick who once volunteered to give Bill Clinton a blow job found Trump family stilettos unfeminist. I can go on.

A woman of the Senator Sinema’s statue should be advised to go for an effortless stile. A simple, flattering dress in an interesting color. Small jewelry — stuff like that. Her look should frame her substance. AOC can set a good example here: minimalism, trademark red lipstick. The populous can project what it wants into her image.

Sinema overloads with detail. There are too many clashing colors and patterns. Too many pinks. And nothing left to add.

She comes across self-absorbed. Like somebody who spends too much time worrying about clothes, yet failing to create a cohesive look. And if she can’t do that little, can we trust her to govern us?

When I look at Sinema, I see a lady who, having lived her youth in pink tutus at a service of miscellaneous despots with grudges against our republic, has reached middle age without developing the ability to put together an outfit.

And I get it, Sinema is a character, so she wears something wacky. But wacky characters like Cynthia McKinney, Ilhan Omar, and Rishina Tlaib usually inhabit the lower chamber of Congress. Sinema gets to represent an entire state. And, what do you know, her fellow hipsterati Robert O’Rourke is somehow deemed presidential.

One problem with hipsters is that everything is always about them. Another problem with hipsters is that they may insist that they live for art or music, they rarely give themselves fully to their alleged passion because everything is always about them.

They role play rebels, imagine that they are expanding the horizons, and breaking new grounds. Learning a skill is a negative, because what they really want to be is idiot savants: naturally original, talented… narcissistic. For the most part they suck, though, and they know it, and they are trying to hide it, albeit, again, they are not very good at it.

For instance, what if we want to cover a song by The Ramones, but we really suck? Maybe if we wear white onesies and furry sheep masks no one will notice. And even if someone notices, it doesn’t matter because it’s really all about having fun, and I guess you just had to be there.

Heaven help us if we are to be ruled by hipster mediocrities!