Drop Your Devices
Tech has made near-constant connection to the “global village” possible — but for parents and their children, is that a good thing?
Welcome to 2018: a year where those who have the largest shares in big companies like Apple Inc. are in a position to exert their self-proclaimed moral responsibility to address the astonishing rate at which humans are interacting with the computer processors on their smartphones.
The Premise
The article released this past Saturday, January 7th by the Wall Street Journal reports that some large shareholders in Apple have called for the company to make changes to their systems to help parents exert more control and limit phone usage. If you haven’t read it already, I recommend it.
I have written for years on this subject about the possible negative effects on our children and their interaction with digital technology and social media. At the end of this piece I’ll provide links to my past blog articles for context and proof that, although I’m not a medical doctor, my experience as a mother of three children has brought me to the philosophy I now hold on this subject.
Some Blunt and Painful Truths
We’ve all been guinea pigs since our computers first made the leap from the green pixels of the Oregon Trail game to the world wide web: first on PCs in living rooms but then on increasingly smaller — and more mobile — devices, to the point that today, we can carry the internet in our pockets, or even wear it on our wrists.
Somewhere along the way, parents everywhere forgot that babies and children watch their caregivers and copy them relentlessly. While parents obsess over how many “likes” they’ve racked to their recent Facebook post or are scrolling through Pinterest ideas for dinner that night, their young are absorbing this as normal behavior, even as they themselves vie for their parents’ attention. Even more alarming is that many parents may spend more time trying to “capture the moment” in forms of photo bursts, videos and vines than engaging in conversation or activities with their children.
I refuse to personally judge anyone in this area as I’ve made my own mistakes regarding this new digital frontier. Instead, I’m sharing my own personal journey as a way of giving to parents and caregivers alike some ideas that perhaps they can weave into their way of life. Hopefully, these principles will be observed and absorbed by the next generation so that they in turn will be equipped to raise their own children in tandem with the technological advances that the future will surely bring.
Parents: Put It Away
This is a blunt heading, and intentionally so. This is not easy — perhaps even impossible — for many people, depending on their line of work. Thankfully, most devices come with a “vibrate” setting, which I use constantly.
Before you dismiss this idea entirely, do yourself a favor and think about how much time you actually interface personally on a daily basis with your child or children. The answers will vary depending on vocation and age of the children of course, but the effects of this interaction (or lack of it) should warrant an honest assessment.
Here’s what I’ve learned in just under 10 years of being a mother to three children under the age of 10: they grow up fast and learn even faster!
If you make it a point to interact with your child without the smartphone attached to the palm of your hand it will help them bond not only with you but also know how to engage with other humans.
The question will inevitably come — especially from older children — why don’t they have a phone? My responses to this oft-repeated question are simple and hopeful. For example, I let them know that their father and I don’t see a need for it, nor is it allocated for in our family budget. In addition, I remind them that when they do finally have their own phone, they will have an even better model, and they aren’t missing out on anything in the meantime.
While investors are making suggestions to tech companies about how their products can be manipulated to help give parents control, the reality is that parents don’t need to be “given” control — they’ve had it all along.
People, Artificial Intelligence, and Beyond
Guess what? We’re still all test subjects together as we progress in this brave new world of cyber-digital interactions and integrations with homo sapiens.
We’re talking about parental controls available on the iPhone platform, and before we know it, we’ll be reading psychologists’ research papers on the emotional integration of robot-nannies on our grandchildren.
We excel at incorporating new technology into our lives without missing a beat, but often we do so without considering its effects — that is, until they are staring us in the face.
Although we focus mostly on negative consequences, we should be fair and acknowledge where technology has helped, rather than hindered, parenting and childhood development. For example, I recall a scratchy, long-distance land-line phone call to Greece with my great-grandparents, who I could hardly hear — our kids get to Facetime with their grandparents in California. If you are feeling overwhelmed and need to read something that will assuage the fear of the unknown I recommend “Abundance” by Peter H. Diamandis. It’s a helpful book with opening our mind to the possibilities of the good things that can come out of our digital evolution together.
The Global Village Is Not the Front Line
Ever since the release of the World Wide Web in the late last century, the world has shrunk down to what is commonly referred to as the “global village”.
This shouldn’t be confused with the world that our children know when they are born and growing up in our homes. We as parents and caregivers are still their front line in seeing and interpreting the world around them.
In the end the moral responsibility still falls on us individually to make parenting decisions that we feel are right for our own offspring.
Blessings to all you out there raising children in the 21st century and beyond!
P.S. As promised, past blog links of mine concerning children and cyberworld:
