12 Days of Christmas > A Bunch of Birds
Some tips for celebrating the Twelve Days of Christmas.
For many, Christmas Day is a let down. It’s the big bang after weeks of anticipation followed by a week or so of boredom — or of modern parents trying to schedule away boredom in the post Christmas doldrums until school starts again.
As mentioned in my Do Advent post, our family called no joy (literally) when the twins got lost in the wrappings one Christmas morn. I lost track of the littles while soothing a hysterical three and five year old who were being “encouraged” to open another gift when all they wanted to do was play with toys they had already opened.
That was the first problem I set out to fix, the gift overload. Limiting presents presented a problem as we had the only grandchildren on either side at the time and lived overseas. It just so happened that overseas living was the United Kingdom, where the Anglican calendar is as cultural as it is religious. I seized upon the fact that the 12 days really are a thing, an official season of the liturgical calendar through which I could spread out the gift giving. After a little reading for historical context, and I found that I was reviving tried and true ways. That boded well. As I planned ahead for the next year, I rediscovered how well Advent and Christmas worked together and added the Advent effort onto the changes.
Almost 10 years on, I’ve learned that doing the Twelve Days of Christmas takes a little more advance planning than Advent and it is more countercultural. Everyone else seems to be coming down while you are starting to celebrate, but really that just allows you to transition with casual entertaining. (Which I encourage, but more on that later.)
First, re-work events. Move big-Christmas-y events like cocktail parties or kid parties and shows from Advent to the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day. The Nutcracker is still showing, and it is easier to get tickets. Your parties can be more casual, which is nice, especially if you are just starting to host them. Christmas cards can be bumped until now. The season lasts until January 5th, so you have plenty of time to shoot the cards over Christmas Day and mail them out afterwards.
Next, rework gift giving. Like Advent, I don’t add things to the list of to-dos, or in this case, to gives. I rearrange them. For instance, if your family does recurring gifts on Christmas morning, such as, give each other new PJs, then declare the Third Day of Christmas a lazy day and give PJs on the 27th. Instead of one more thing on Christmas morning, or a needed something bought in the after Christmas Day sales and brought home and tags snipped off — it’s now another gift prolonging the celebration. (And it can still be bought in the after-Christmas Day sales.)
Better still, I decorated a large unused basket with partial nativity ornament sets. On days 2–12, I put the presents in this basket next to the tree — unwrapped. Same number of gifts, less wrapping.
Within a year, I started setting a theme of the day. Each year the days change depending on our family’s plans, but some recurring and/or successful themes we’ve used over the years — and do note how these things would have been gifts, stocking stuffers, or school break distractions anyway:
Game Day: My husband’s family always played cards over the holidays, so I usually make the Second Day of Christmas a game day with a new board game and fresh decks of cards.
Tech Day: New earbuds, apps, mobile chargers, cases — and a screen time limit free day.
Reading Day: new books, tea mugs, cozy blankets, warm socks.
New Year’s Eve: Party Clothes. We have a NYE party, so I give them whatever they need to wear for the evening.
New Year’s Day: Something special. We’ve given them music boxes, family member items, first pieces of real jewelry.
Family binge watch: Fancy popcorn, vouchers for downloads, and pizza. Our two favorite years were Good Eats and Warehouse 13.
Geek Out Day: Both geeks ourselves, we have spawned four little fans of various fandoms. Thus there is always some assortment of fan gear for them at Christmas. Somehow it is cooler when it is all lumped together. This might be the kids’ favorite basket day.
Organization Day: We did this one when there was a long lead between New Year’s Day and school and the kids needed some desk and closet organization. It was a surprise hit and fun, but probably because I’m a bit of a Monica Geller.
Work with your family traditions and preferences for your own 12 days. The Twelfth Day of Christmas has vexed me until this year. The Twelfth Night I have sorted, which I will explain next, but for the kids, I’ve struggled to make something traditional work in the modern era. It was an opposite day, when roles are reversed. We’ve tried versions, even King Bean and Queen Pea one year, but with the children back in school, it never quite comes together. So this year I’m trying a scavenger hunt around the house for a surprise that I can’t reveal here, as my two eldest have started reading my articles occasionally.
Like many organized things, pulling off 12 days of Christmas does take some front loaded organization. It’s December 6th and the husband and I have been emailing frequently to finalize the Christmas days’ themes and fill in the last gaps. We already have most of the gifts or had discussed most of the plans, but with four kids it is too easy to miss a detail or two. Plus we need to focus on the celebration aspect. For us that means the Christian celebration, obviously, but the rhythms of the liturgical calendar have much to offer others in our hectic world as well.
The only real pull of the cultural plan of weeks of anticipation for a couple of hours of gratification (if that): habit.
