Nick Mazmanian
Jul 3 · 2 min read

Tim sat on the bench as he watched himself run past into the park to stop himself from stopping an old lady to not be hit by a bus.

Tim 12 turned to Tim 13 and asked, “Why?”

13 answered, “Because without her distraction, 11 won’t be able to rob the pawn shop to get the Rolex watch for 10 who then can get into the hideout that the kidnappers of the mayor’s daughter are using so 9 can then use the mayor’s favor to get the destruction of the old clocktower canceled so then 8 can continue their fight inside the clocktower against our archenemies, Phil…”

The two Tim’s shook their fists in unison said, “Phil…”

13 continued, “…who has 7’s pink slip to their car that they need to get to the dry cleaners so that they can get it to 6 who is at Al and Tessa’s wedding in Temecula so that way when he walked up to Reggie and he wouldn’t look like a valet. That way 6 wouldn’t get interrupted by an old couple who just want to leave, and being the nice guy we are, we drop everything and get the elderly couple their car and then miss Reggie before he left the wedding.”

Tim watched 13 to make sure everything finally went off without a hitch. He was getting tired of murdering himself and the moral implications that it involved, but he had only one Tim left on his list. Tim’s 1–5 were only causing problems, and once 14 appeared to try to stop 13 he was going to fix all of the problems. The idea came to him when Tim 113 killed Bigfoot before he could eat 112 during their outdoor gourmet hot dog cook-off.

It was then 113 was stabbed in the back. He turned to find another Tim but he was missing an eyeball and their face was covered in scars. He asked, “Why?”

Tim 2,098 answered, “Reggie really wasn’t worth it.”

Ironclad Words

A place to share stories both fact and fiction. Bring coffee.

Nick Mazmanian

Written by

I write made-up fun and factual stories. Fighting sea monsters for donuts. Find the rest of my work at

Ironclad Words

A place to share stories both fact and fiction. Bring coffee.

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