I Quit My Job To Follow My Dream
And I think you should too.
About four weeks ago I walked out of my job in retail management. I was worked to the bone for what worked out as far below minimum wage. I’ll save my rant about the capitalist machine for another day. This piece is about what it is like being unemployed for the first time since I started working 10 years ago at 15.
I’m approaching week four and so far it’s had its ups and downs. I’ve been thrown between unmeasurable excitement about my side projects becoming full fledged projects, to imposter syndrome fuelled bouts of self doubt.
Luckily I have a bit of money to support myself and figure I can get by for maybe 2 or 3 months, in large part because I still live at home with my parents (thanks again capitalism).
The first few days were very very strange.
I felt this overwhelming anxiety to be working. Constantly. I couldn’t stop coding, or writing, or researching. I couldn’t relax. While I enjoyed the productivity, the initial pressure of knowing I had a finite amount money left with no additional income really messed with my head.
Nothing I was doing seemed like it was worth it, like it would generate me any income quick enough for me to be able to support myself interim while I found a new job I actually wanted.
I did look for work. Work that I wanted. By the end of the first week I had applied for a few positions that I was interested in and felt would be a good fit for me. I took a very relaxed approach to try not to panic. But when I didn’t hear back, panic did start to slowly wash over me.
In the past whenever I have questioned my career path, I always take the advice of Neil Gaiman in his commencement speech to the University of the Arts in 2012. I know where I want to be. I want a job in the IT industry and I want some additional sources of income on the side. This to me is my mountain in the distance. My Everest. The point I should always be trying to reach.
Now, during week 2 I was offered a few positions, which really weren’t suitable and would have taken me miles from my mountain. If it wasn’t for me religiously watching this video in times of career induced crisis, I probably would have taken them. And I’m glad I didn’t.
After three weeks, I’ve really gotten into a good flow of work. While nothing has produced money for me yet, I have planted the saplings so to speak. I’ve been coding everyday, coming up with new ideas and ventures, I’ve been writing a fair deal. I’ve also been eyeing up some freelance opportunities that I could use to reinforce my bank balance for a bit longer.
Imposter syndrome is still very much an issue, but it always will be. As long as I have any progress to show at the end of a day I’m happy and it keeps the beast at bay.
I feel like I’ve taken a huge step, probably the biggest ever, towards living the kind of life I want. Being my own boss has been an amazing experience so far, I feel real weight behind my decisions, I’m not stopping to over think ideas, I’m just trying them, because I have to and I’m learning so much in exchange.
If in a few months time this hasn’t worked out, I’ll be genuinely happy that I tried, and it probably won’t be my last stab at a freelance lifestyle.
For those of you out there with a dream they want to follow, who are looking for a little push, this is your push. Do it. You won’t regret it, you can always get another 9 to 5, but you can only live your dream once and the sooner you try, the sooner it can become a reality.
Watch this and maybe it will impact your life like it has mine.
