I am no longer a believer
I no longer believe that the Bible is the inspired, inerrant Word of God, and I no longer believe in Christianity.
Some of you know this already, and some may be curious (especially after my posts on evolution and hell), but I felt it necessary to make a formal statement.
Why “come out” on Facebook? Why not just keep this to myself? Why ruffle feathers? These are good questions. I will start by saying that for 3 years I have kept publicly silent about this; however, it has become increasingly difficult to do so. I am a person who likes to be authentic and open about who I am. I also like to share things that I have learned along the way. Neither of these have I been able to do while living with this secret.
Another reason for “coming out” is that there may be some of you who are going through something similar… questioning your faith… and you don’t feel like you have anyone to talk to about it who understands. I want to be there for you.
What’s my story? About 3 years ago I went through a personal crisis that led me to examine my faith very intensely. For about a year I read and studied and watched and listened to everything I could get my hands on regarding the Bible and the Christian faith. At the end of the year I concluded that it just wasn’t true, or real. So, for example, I no longer believe in creation, Adam and Eve, a talking snake, the Fall, the flood, the sun standing still for a day, the virgin birth, the resurrection, miracles, healing, or prayer. For the most part I believe that these things are oral myths and legends that were eventually written down by men, edited and compiled by men, voted on by men, and then proclaimed to be God’s Word by men.
Yes, I have been a pastor. Yes, I have been a Christian counselor. Yes, I have been to Bible College and Seminary. Yes, I have pastors and missionaries among my family and relatives. Yes, I was steeped in the Bible from birth, and have studied it for many years of my adult life.
That’s why it was difficult to come to the conclusion I did. It ripped and tore. It seemed that everything I held dear, including my Christian friends, were fading away. It was horrible. The comfort of believing in a God who watched over me and was guiding my life slipped away. The certainty of knowing where I was going and what would happen to me after I died was shaken loose. But I had made the determination to myself that I would rather believe in what was true than what was comforting (if they, in fact, were not the same).
After some time it got better, and now I have been able to move on and create a reasonably good life apart from the Christian faith. I still don’t have a lot of answers to the big questions of life, but I have become more comfortable with not knowing. In many ways I still wish that Christianity was true/real. I have nothing against Christians; most are wonderful people. I’m not mad at God. I like a lot of Christian music. There are many parts in the Bible that I find beautiful or inspiring.
Most of my family and closest friends have been aware of the process I have been through, and most of them have not run away screaming. I appreciate that! However, I still miss not being able to connect with them on the same level anymore. Some have tried to reconvert me. I’m sure there are many that have prayed diligently for me. Some are just heartbroken. I’m sorry.
Originally published on my Facebook page on January 1, 2014 https://www.facebook.com/discodoan/posts/10151924934333635
