Grateful for my Faith in You.

dear Allah,
today I’m thankful for You
I’m thankful I know You and have faith in You
I’m thankful that no matter how much despair I drown in
and no matter how many threads of hope the world manages to cut
I still have Your thread to hold on to, I still have Your doors to forgive and welcome me.
“وَلَا تَيْئَسُوا مِنْ رَوْحِ اللَّهِ إِنَّهُ لَا يَيْئَسُ مِنْ رَوْحِ اللَّهِ إِلَّا الْقَوْمُ الْكَافِرُونَ “

And just when I’m about to give in to darkness, I sit and think of all the comfort and peacefulness and power that You promised to whoever just asks for it.
“وَإِذَا سَأَلَكَ عِبَادِي عَنِّي فَإِنِّي قَرِيبٌ ۖ أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ الدَّاعِ إِذَا دَعَانِ ۖ فَلْيَسْتَجِيبُوا لِي وَلْيُؤْمِنُوا بِي لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْشُدُونَ “

Empowered and guided I indeed feel when I humbly kneel down and put my head on the floor and talk to you with a flood of tears, a dead heart and a drained soul.
“وَقَالَ إِنِّي ذَاهِبٌ إِلَىٰ رَبِّي سَيَهْدِينِ “

that’s when I wonder
what would I have done without my belief in You and Your Power and Forgiveness, would my life make any sense at all, would I still hold on to life the way I do after my prayer? would I still be sane and see so much potential in the weak self that I am?

Now my only wish is to not be of those who only remember you in times of distress, but of those whom hearts and minds You never leave even in times of ease.
“ وَإِذَا مَسَّ الْإِنسَانَ الضُّرُّ دَعَانَا لِجَنبِهِ أَوْ قَاعِدًا أَوْ قَائِمًا فَلَمَّا كَشَفْنَا عَنْهُ ضُرَّهُ مَرَّ كَأَن لَّمْ يَدْعُنَا إِلَىٰ ضُرٍّ مَّسَّهُ ۚ كَذَٰلِكَ زُيِّنَ لِلْمُسْرِفِينَ مَا كَانُوا يَعْمَلُونَ”
Amen.