Day 32 of 49: Be humble continued
Welcomed reassurance and some fabulous ah-ha’s.
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Continued from Day 31.
Theme for Day 32: Be humble (continued).
I woke up this morning to discover yesterday’s guests of panic and overwhelm, who seemed to enjoy bobbing between ‘to me’ and ‘by me’ awareness levels, had not as yet checked out. I took a couple of deep breathes, smiled and leaned into welcoming them to another day.
As I sat down to do my morning meditation, the time was exactly 05.05. Hebrew, the language of Judaism, is read right to left. So reading these digits from right to left means they would read 50.50. As far as my recent commitment to extending this journey to 49 days, from a Jewish perspective, the 50th day is exceptionally significant, as it was the day, after cycling through the transformational process of 7 weeks of 7 days, that the Jewish people received the Torah at Mount Sinai.
Mount Sinai wasn’t a particularly grand mountain, from which the lesson of humility is drawn. Today the theme of humility continues, ‘Be humble’.
I’ve always loved the explanation that the 50th day was one of deep listening. It’s not that G-d communicated ‘more’ that day, but rather an indication of what’s possible when living from a more awakened, present awareness!
When I was en route to fetch my boys for school and glanced at my phone for the time, it was 07.07.
Hmmmm…7x7.
As far as I understand, in terms of the Sinai story, there was a heightened level of awareness and capacity to receive G-d’s communication as a result of the dedication to reflection and renewal through the 7 weeks, the 49 days, prior to the revelation at Sinai. I was grateful for the reminder of the power of a daily practice to build the muscles of living with gratitude and presence.
These two experiences with my time display were warmly welcomed reassuring nudges, especially in light of my current emotional ‘guests’.
More great timing.
When I arrived at my ex-in-laws home this morning to fetch my boys for school, as I was waiting for them, I was filling in the 2018 school parking sticker form. It is a security policy requirement, where each year, a family needs to apply for these stickers which once received are to be stuck to the front windscreen of the cars that will be coming to the school to fetch kids. No sticker, no entry to the school premises.
I was thinking I need to get my ex-mom-in-law’s car registration number, and that I’ll ask whichever of my sons comes out first to quickly go jot it down.
All of sudden, I hear the garage door opening. Their granddad was driving in, and as the garage door opened fully, I could easily see their grandmother’s number plate and took down the relevant details.
In the moment of the garage door opening, it felt as if G-d was saying to me, ‘Don’t worry about how you’ll get what you need. I know you want to try figure out how to get it all done, take control, play your part. But you see, I am also fully aware. I know what you need. I’ll get it to you, exactly as and when you need it, easily, effortlessly and more than likely in a way you have not even considered as an option yet!’
I was excited to share this experience with my boys on route to school. My eldest was hilarious. With a bold naughty smile, he chirped, ‘What if it was just a case of my grandfather arriving home?’ I smiled and laughed. He’s quite right, at the same time I feel a lot more reassured sticking with my version of the story.
And another gift of timing.
I had ordered some cleansing bath salts from a special friend who has been entrusted with a recipe that has been handed down through generations. I was ecstatic to be picking them up today. I had just come out of a meeting and would have had a gap of a half-hour before collecting the salts, only to discover a message from my friend saying I was most welcome to come through a little earlier. Bonus!
I arrived just in time to catch the tail end of a story my friend was sharing with another customer about living courageously and from a place of absolute trust. Perfect timing — this was just what I needed to hear!
My friend suggests using these salts on a full moon and new moon. And guess what tonight is? New moon! Was so over the moon that I’d be able to use them this very night!
Gratitude for gentle reassurances.
Another friend also messaged today to share how she had rewatched a particular talk by Gabriella Berstein, The Universe Has Your Back, and how much it was exactly what she needed to hear, as she was at a low point, so close to giving up believing.
I am immensely grateful for all these experiences today.
What if I could step courageously into living in faith and trust, one moment at a time, knowing that the Universe has my back and that when I’m feeling as if I’m losing my balance, She will be there, in a moment, with loving gentle reassurance?
May I remain open to receiving.
A delayed dawning of an ‘ah-ha’.
There was something I heard on one of Marie Forleo’s B School training videos last night that only deeply registered today.
She had invited those listening to try on a new perspective. One that said,
‘If there is something you believe in, that you believe would add value and make a difference, then it’s your responsibility to market the heck out of it! It’s your responsibility to find and get in front of the people who would benefit! It’s not their responsibility to find you.’
Like those first few rays on the horizon of a newly dawning day, it hit me…
That’s it! I believe I have exceptional value to add to the right fit team, where there is an alignment of values. There is also a lead generation service I believe in and I believe I have the ability to put together simple introduction videos and help with crafting the content for these. It’s my responsibility to get myself, these offerings in front of the people who could benefit! It’s not about them finding me, it’s about me getting the message out!
Thank you Marie!
Sometimes the lenses get smudgy, that’s life!
At some point today, as I was filling the kettle, I could feel my energy had shifted from the denseness of the ‘to me’, ‘by me’ awareness levels of the last few days. I noticed I was a lot more present, I was aware of the blessing of water coming out the tap, of having access to tap water safe enough to drink (I know some folks may disagree), a functional kettle, electricity.
In that moment I felt a certain sense of peace with the fluctuations of this life experience. That there will be times I’ll lose focus, go through patches of being more distracted and ungrateful, and that’s ok, that’s life…
Let’s get practical about this:
I alternate between wearing glasses and contact lenses. Before I put my glasses on, I give them a good clean and start off seeing with great clarity. During the course of the day, they get smudged and dirty. It usually happens so gradually I don’t notice, and by the time I take them off, I have not registered how desperately in need of a cleaning they are.
But when it next comes time to wear them, if I absentmindedly just put them on without giving them a good clean, I’m shocked at how I was even able to see out of them the previous day!
Sometimes vision will get clouded and smudged, and it’ll affect how I see and experience the world. I believe though, there will come a time when I will notice, and then I’ll have the choice to clean those lenses and see clearly again, at least for the next while.
What a great way to start the day.
I listened to a fabulous webinar tonight hosted by Donna MacCallum, the Fairy Godmother. I’ve seen many of Saldavor Dali’s artworks, but have known very little about the man himself.
Donna shared something he’s quoted as saying in an interview.
What a fun and outrageous way to start the day!
Thank you Day 32! Continued on Day 33.
