Graduation Jitters are in the Air
Graduation is in the air, and it’s all I can think about. I’m 25 years old, and I’m about to head out into the real world with a degree from the University of California, Santa Barbara. Sounds scary, right? I’ve been in school as far back as I can remember. Kindergarten doesn’t seem that long ago. Wasn’t it just yesterday that I complete fifth grade on the honor roll? Nearly ten years later, I’m graduating from a university. It seems surreal.
Making it this far in my life never seemed like much of an option. Finding a school was far from my agenda in high school and finances seemed impossible to pull together, until it all did. I started my journey at community college, and that allowed me to see that maybe pursuing an education was still a possibility. Community college offered me intellectual classes at affordable prices, and it showed me the path toward obtaining the higher degree. It was definitely a stepping-stone worth taking, and I’ll never regret taking a little longer to graduate than the average student.
What’s next? What am I going to do? Finals are four weeks away, and graduation is the following weekend. That means I have a little more than a month to come up with a plan. My friends and roommates all know exactly what they want and where they will go after graduation. I keep hearing about grad school applications and masters programs, but I, personally, don’t feel ready for the huge commitment. Graduate students tell me constantly that it is a commitment worth waiting on and not rushing into. I hear about plans to travel the world to experience the various cultures we’ve spent so much time learning about in our classes. I hear about jobs my fellow graduates have lined up. I’m just trying to figure out what I’m going to do with my family when they come up here for graduation weekend. I’m still trying to figure out what I want to eat for dinner tonight, which I have been thinking about for three days. (It’s probably going to be the box of macaroni and cheese stashed at the back of my pantry, if you were wondering.)
When I tell people about the uncertainty of my plans for the real world, they look at me like I’ve been wasting my time pursuing my education. You’ve had years to figure out what you wanted to do once you were finished. Why don’t you have a plan? How are you going to survive? Let me answer honestly: I’ve never had a plan. I never know what I am going to do. I actually detest making plans, because it ruins my go-with-the-flow energy. I like to run with whatever plans I feel like saying yes to at the moment. It seems like instinct to avoid plans. I’ve made this far in life without a plan. In my world, the answers to life’s questions come from the gut, which tells me that I don’t know how to stick to a plan. Life is spontaneous, so hop on the energy waves, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.
I can see the sea of graduating seniors sitting in their seats waiting to cross the stage with a fresh education and an eagerness to ride the wave of employment in the ocean of life. I will be in that sea of seniors somewhere, riding the waves of ambiguity, just waiting for my next opportunity to present itself in my life so I can chase it. I don’t know where I’ll be, and it sounds scarier than it is. I can’t worry, because life is a journey without a destination. How can I plan a trip to an unknown place? I don’t know any other way but to just sit back and enjoy the ride.
