The Pot Of Protection

I preferred the name “Pot at a knife fight” but its not my story to tell

There are very many things wrong with this story, the first of which being the fact that the person involved was laughing the whole time she narrated her ordeal and we all joked about it.

My friend stepped into my room sometime around past 1. Let’s call her Susan, so Susan stepped into my room sometime around past 1 am pulling me out of my sleep. Not completely, but enough for me to open my door for her and tell her not step on the laptop on the floor. I made sure she got into bed and then I fell back asleep. At the time, it didn’t seem weird to me that she came in that late, in fact I didn’t realize how late it was.

My roommate, returned to the room at 7:30 this morning and that marked the end of my slumber. Susan was still asleep so I opened the door for my roommate and went to the toilet to pee. By the time I returned, Susan was awake and cleaning an injury on her with a sanitary wipe, she was narrating how she got the injury but wasn’t being quite clear.

“Bring your hand” I prompted and she obliged.

“Did you have this injury last night?” I asked.

“Yes and that pot.” She replied. And this is when I noticed a bloody pot (not a metaphor) sitting on my rug.

“You carried a pot here, and I didn’t see?”

“Yes, The man that even dropped me said I should drop the pot but I said no. The holy Ghost is in this pot. This is my pot of protection.”

She was laughing when she said this so I was a bit confused as to what to think of what could be a ritualist’s pot. I cut out some cotton wool and dampened it with meticulated spirit and cleaned the wound. Susan spiced up the wound cleaning process with “ooo”’s and “ahhh”s till I was done.

“Okay let’s start this story from the beginning. From when you told me you were coming over last night which was around 10” This is me speaking.

“So after that, one of my friends texted me and said we should go and get pizza at dominos or something, So I went to meet my cousin at her hostel. She decided she wanted to beat up my face so I followed her to the hostel and she did my make up and I wore my gown”

“So you had make up on yesterday night?”

“Yes I did but I cleaned it off.”

“Obviously.”

“Yes, obviously” she laughed.

“What happened next?”

“Then I went to dominos with the guy I guess, I don’t really remember and from there everything was a blur. I woke up in this weird house. Omo if you see the way I shouted when I found myself in one funny place I didn’t know. The person was now trying one funny thing with me. I now ran and packed my things…”

“Calm down, calm down. Do you remember getting to dominos?”

“Yes.”

Do you remember eating pizza at dominos?”

“No”

“Do you remember entering dominos?”

She hesitates

“Yes… Not really.”

“Who did you go to dominos with?”

“I can’t remember.”

“Do you remember who called you or texted you?”

“I don’t remember and when I checked my phone there was no record”

She’s laughing still.

“It’s not funny” I say to her. I am still quite confused.

“It is” she says still laughing.

“It’s not. Maybe ten years from now when you remember that time you got kidnap you can think ‘ha good times’ but not right now”

“It’s funny joor”

“Okay so you wake up in this guy’s house, When did you change to these clothes you have on?”

“In his house, when I woke up I was naked …”

“Wait, like butt naked?”

“No I was wearing my pant. He removed my gown and my bra and my bracelet. My expensive bracelet. I want to go back and get that gown, my mum bought me that gown” She fakes tears playfully.

“So where were these clothes?”I am referring to the ones she has on.

“In my bag, see this is why I don’t like wearing white” She remarks about the blood stain on her blouse. This, I laugh at because it’s funny.

“So on your wedding day, you won’t wear white because you might get someone’s blood on it.”

“I didn’t want to wear white for my wedding before sef”

“You woke up and what happened?”

“The guy isn’t inside but then he comes in and he tries to pull my pant and we struggle then he tore the pant and cut my waist bead.” she fakes tears for her waist beads.

“Wait when you woke up did you shout?”

“Hmm, but generators”

“What did he do when you shouted?”

“He didn’t even flinch. He just like tried to remove my pant” Something about the way she said this was funny.

“Did you you see his face? Can you describe it?”

“I am not good with that but he had a weird beard. like a W”

“That is weird.”

“Yes na. He sha tore my pant and left. Then I packed my things; my bag and shoes and ran out…”

“Wait he left you but didn’t tie you down and expected you to just lie down and wait for him”

“Yes o. Do you get? I was insulted. Me that I took karate lessons from js1 to js3. sha I packed my things and ran out of the room. See ehn the place was like a boys quarter. There was the room and then a corridor that went downnnnn and a gate at the end but the gate was locked”

“Okay so you left the room and ran out…”

“Yes, so I ran to the door fast but the person removed the key and was now like ‘run now, you will stay here for one week’. The kitchen was open so I just entered the kitchen and sat in front of the door. Mehn the drug the person used was strong ehn but instead of me to enjoy the cruise i was now there trying to save my life” She said with a smile

“See what you were even thinking off”

“Ehn na. Anyhow sha the kitchen door couldn’t lock so I sat down in front of the door and pushed my leg on the fridge adjacent the door. The guy now went and put off the gen so everywhere was dark. He came to the door and pushed it and was saying ‘better come out o, if I break this door you won’t leave here alive.’ Me I didn’t even answer. At some point I even slept then a spirit now slapped me like how can I be sleeping at this time. I removed the clothes in my bag and tried to wear them”

“Oh so up to this point you were still naked?”

“Yes. I wore it sha so that the next moment the guy tried to open the door, I was out. The next moment i knew the guy actually broke the door. The up hinge of the door was spoilt so when he pushed, the door would bend but this time it broke. He entered the kitchen from on top and I was shouting ‘What do you want to do?! what do you want?’ He now carried a knife, the knife actually leggit scared me but I just went for the knife”

“Wait let me get this straight? you held the knife”

“Yes” she said laughing again “Let me now burst your head, the knife was as blunt as my finger. The guy just wanted to scare me so me I went for the one that can actually do more harm, I went for the pot” all this she said while trying to catch her breath

“Never thought I would hear anyone utter those words” I join in her laughter.

“See ehn, me I just watched Resident evil like last week, I gave the guy one karate chop on his neck with my hand and held his head down and hacked at him with the pot”

Let me explain just how bloody this pot was; you know when you are trying to transfer stew into that ice cream bowl (the one that breaks the heart of children) and it spills all over the side, yea like that. Then under the pot was dented.

“I now saw one man walking with touch to off his gen and started shouting ‘help o help, this guy is a ritualist o help’ three guys now came and started banging the door. He now went and opened the door and said I should get out so I got out but I didn’t leave. I told him to bring out my bag and shoes.”

“Okay but he was already bleeding like this?”

“Yes na, ahn ahn. Wa shere. I had broken the head. Trust me na” she replied

I call her an agbero and we both laugh.

“I wanted to go out but the gate-man didn’t want to open. He now came out and told the gate-man to let me leave. I don’t even get why he was comfortable coming out naked.”

“Wait, he was naked since?” Me I thought the guy was fully clothed all this while.

“Yes o. I now went out but I stayed at the front of the gate small. I heard the guy shouting inside and banging the gate”

“He was frustrated?”

“Yes, but me I didn’t care. I walked down and saw the light of one car. I went to the car and explained what happened to the man. I asked him where I was and he said Yaba. I now asked him to please take me to unilag”

“So you basically threw away all your home training?”

“Yes na. The guy asked me to drop my pot but I said no o, the holy spirit is inside the pot. This is my pot of protection. The man now took me to school, the back gate was locked so he took me to the front gate. The gate was locked too but the man came down and helped me explain to the gate-men. I don’t know what he said sha but they allowed me in. When I was now entering, the gate-men laughed and said ‘is that a pot’ and I was like yes.”

She stops talking at this point.

“And then you came to my room?”

“Yes. and then I came to your room”

“What is really sad now is that guy will wake up this morning and want to cook indomie but won’t find his pot…”