Hallelujah! I’m a Libertarian!

After taking some anonymous libertarian’s advice online of whom I have no relation, I have read the required scripture, and now, I believe!

I have developed more nuanced views concerning Civil Rights, the holocaust, women’s lib, child labor, and slavery.

When discussing Civil Rights, I will be sure to point out to my unwashed friends and family that it was a terrible decision. It was a smack in the face to the ineffable “free market.” We all know the communists used it as a pretext to divide our nation along racial ties.

The holocaust… Did six million really die in concentration camps? Was Hitler really the monster the Marxist historians make him out to be?

Let me tell you something. We all know shit began to roll down hill when women moved out of the house and into the voting booth. Now that they have the right to work and vote, they never stop complaining! They were much happier before the feminists changed their mind, because we know how they are.

For us ladies out there, you know what you want, a nice slab of Howard Roark with a extra helping of Hank Rearden.

You know what? I’d like to meet the guys who not only believe that, but act on it, because that sounds fucking hot. Seriously, if libertarian guys spent less time reading about Howard Roark and more time actually acting like him, they’d be rolling in a sea of legs.
If you’re the kind of guy who walks around making others respect your dominance, and telling the busybodies who interfere to get lost, I can’t speak for other chicks, but I’d give you my number and probably offer to sell you my body at a market rate….

Read more: http://thelibertarianrepublic.com/why-are-there-fewer-libertarian-women-because-anarchist-men-are-disgusting/#ixzz4krXnsouq 
Follow us: @TheLibRepublic on Twitter

Forget William Blake. Child labor laws corrupted Western Civilization creating millions of idle workers (because we all know child labor meant a pre-teen working in her parents sandwich shop, not working in the coal mines. Wink wink).

Child labor wasn’t slavery, and children working in the mines and factories wasn’t that dangerous. It was more like a work-study program. Yeah, that’s it. It was work-study!

I have learned African slaves were not really slaves at all. They were really immigrants looking for a fresh start. Just ask Ben Carson. Instead of slavery, we will call it indentured servitude. How about internships? Yeah, that’s the ticket. We all know the real slavery is government sponsored medical care and welfare.

This should convince those non-libertarians or at least show my libertarian colleagues how enlightened and free-thinking I am.

(Views expressed here are obvious parody.)