Things I Should Know How To Do but Don’t Because I’m an Amnesic Alien from a Distant Planet
Yeah, so the title pretty much says it all. You probably don’t even need to read this thing now
Sometimes I wonder if I am an alien sent to earth to study humanity, and I’m just doing an absolute shit job of it.
Maybe my star hopping vessel had a crash landing, and I whapped my oversized grey-skinned cranium on the space-aged dashboard just before landing and got amnesia — which is why I can’t remember my extraterrestrial heritage.
The more I write this hypothesis out, the most likely scenario it becomes in my mind.
Lindso, the alien explorer, seeking refuge on an increasingly hostile planet where against all odds, she still finds stupid stuff to laugh about.
It just sounds right, man.
The main reason I believe this tall tale is because, at 36 years old, I still don’t know how to do a plethora of seemingly simple human tasks.
Things like:
Drive myself to get an oil change.
I just straight up refuse to do it, and I have an excellent explanation for that.
