Unearthing #19–22 On My Schedule List.
Rocks. Tessellations. Gifted Program. And Piano.
So the truth is that I don’t want to talk about mainstream life at this moment. I added a lot of things to a list to address, so Godwilling I’ll get there. I need to kind of talk about stuff for me still for now.
Mental health issues in my family line. My emotional violence. Improving it. Knowing that I have to self-select out of mainstream media too because it is an assemblyline for the next young White person which is disheartening to the point I send good wishes and then stay away.
God give me my own stand so that I am the one, the only. They can have theirs. I can have mine. And those of my tribe who I speak 100% honestly too. Only these ones.
So let’s start.
I have no job still. Another part-time job I mean. Just one part-time job $60 per article. Another small one with $25 per article. Lots of applications. God please settle me right.
My life story says nothing will happen. So I expect nothing at this point anymore.
I also desire to have a dad. And a mom. And I replied to my dad’s email on Sunday. Three days after his birthday. Christmas. Seven years of having to be safe and not be able to talk to him. Seven years and an email about nothing in those seven years. Just that he deposited money. I replied and I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t reply back. It would fit things. So my mental health is important because it is things like this that harm your health, harmed my mom’s health.
It is time to self-isolate honestly and grow strength for more I hope.
This is next on the list. Out of 141. A little more than a 10th of the way.
19. Types of *Rocks, Not Volcanoes, Oops
It is something I remember from 6th grade. Not volcanoes though. This is types of rocks. My mistake. That would be igneous, metamorphic, and volcanic. I looked it up yesterday. I said “volcanoes” but meant types of rocks and was thinking about “volcanic”. You know how that can be.
20. Tessellations
I enjoy patterns in math. This is one. I remember learning about this and then doing another math project in 6th grade math. I don’t remember her name honestly, but I liked her. A heavyset White woman. Like my 10th grade math teacher.
21. Gifted Program
I was in this in elementary school. And then high school I did Honors and AP classes. So it feels weird when people come to me and discount me. I’m still trying to figure out what to do here, but I think with this, luckily, they sense the distance I just place between us like you sense when someone thinks better than you.
Even if they know better, it still is difficult to indulge because it feels like I am placed as lesser. I don’t know. Anyway, Godwilling I will continue down this vein. It is important for me to find myself.
22. Piano
My Piano teacher was Ms. Irek. It’s too much right now to include her in my space right now because I have to be ready to face my past in Atlanta. She taught me from age 10 to about 17 or 18. I played really well and haven’t played since my mid 20s.
I will get back to her eventually, and piano playing. My mom struggled to pay for my lessons, like literally would pay late sometimes, a lot, when she didn’t have money, just so I could take lessons. Godwilling I will be okay and bring this back around.
Now it is time to get to the next part of the day. Time out.
God give me my tribe please. Please let things work out. Let the whole story go forward please. I ask this so much but it’s true. Let my feet sink into the gunk to eventually grow beautiful fruit. With good mental health.
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Hi. Thanks for reading and seeing my story. And those connected to it. I have a newsletter about my journey. If interested in being a part, I invite you to SIGN UP. I will try to keep things angled to you, too, a reciprocal type of vibe.
