CEO tries to reverse $25B acquisition because he doesn’t want to be an SVP at Google

SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. — In July 2022, Google announced it entered in a definitive merger agreement to acquire Sugandee, a leading crypto exchange, for approximately $25 billion in cash and stock.

However, CEO and co-founder Paul Brown is trying to reverse the acquisition. “I didn’t realize I’d become a rando VP at Google,” he said. “I got way more respect as a Series A founder than I have post-acquisition announcement.”

Once the acquisition closes, Paul Brown will report to Ruth Porat, Chief Financial Officer at Google. Until the transaction closes, each company will continue to operate independently.

When asked for comment, Google’s spokesperson Amanda Chen replied, “First of all, Paul isn’t going to be just a ‘rando VP’ — he’s going to be a Senior VP. He can be an intrapreneur at Google, where he has the resources of Google but the nimbleness of a startup.” Chen added, “He will join the ranks of other legendary SVPs like Stewart Butterfield and Dylan Field.” Butterfield is the former founder of Slack and current SVP at Salesforce; Field is the former founder of Figma and current SVP at Adobe.

A source tells us that if Paul Brown is not able to get the FTC to block the acquisition, he plans to use his unlimited PTO days at Google to “quiet quit.” He’s planning to use large language models to compliment teenagers at scale.