Have you ever been in a situation where you’d give an advice to your friend on how to deal with his/her crush only to find out sooner or later on that you’d yourself messed up on yours?
Or maybe when you gave that advice to a friend on how to become a success in your profession, in say badminton or public speaking, only to fail to heed on your own advice?
These things happen, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who’s experienced them. In this article I’ll provide a theory as to why these things happen and an ‘advice’ on how to deal with them.
Whenever a person is asked for an advice, he’d feel happy to help. Not only does this give the idea that the person matter but that his ideas matter too.
It is at this point where the brain will release endorphins, the ‘happy’ chemical which gives the person an equivalent of a natural high.
So after much discussions and talking, have you ever felt annoyed by some people who is trying to ‘tell you everything’?
Well, the persons’ natural high is at its near peak. It is where the person would try to superimpose his personality and ego into the picture. So when the conversation stops, the person immediately got an ego boost.
This is the point where a ‘short-circuit’ will happen in the brain. The absence of the chemical will then incur mild misery, unhappiness or even possibly, depression.
Then the ‘illusion fallacy’ sets in. It’s when the person thought himself invincible (he just gave an advice so he must felt so). And it is at this stage where he wants to repeat the natural high.
So with an injection of ‘invincibility’ or arrogance, without the necessary preparation or decorum, he’d sooner or later fail.
Well then what happens to the advice he just gave? What happened to ‘lead by example’? Well, what would an invincible man need that for?
Thus, it happens this thing happens more by observing how our brains work and how its chemicals are triggered.
Mark Zuckerberg’ got a profound understanding over this concept that he successfully made a multi-billion dollar company called facebook just by exploiting this ‘need’. The term used for this is FOMO.
And that is why the red notification is so addicting. It makes you feel good.
And ever wondered why you feel depressed later on? It’s because of that ‘short-circuit’.
That unnecessary posts you wish you hadn’t post up early this year? That’s to relive back that lost high.
Anyhow, how do you deal with this? Well by not going over limits on what you do. Be it either giving excessive advice or checking your facebook/twitter/instagram 50x a day.
Adapt a Stoic creed. Where to control impulse is the most important thing you can ever do in becoming a ‘universal being’.
Then you may say how this writer will then discard his own advice and feel ‘invincible’; hence becoming what he writes about. But this writer humbly acknowledges his weakness.
He is only human and this is just a matter of advice.