Men and the emotions that destroy them
Breaking down is not something to be man about
I never quite intended to talk about men when I started writing Thrills and Chills. I was just researching content for my 4th chapter when I stumbled on statistics that startled me:
Men not only die earlier, but they are also 3 to 4 times likely to kill themselves.
“Suicide rate for males in Kenya is estimated to be 24.4 per every 100,000 men in the population compared to 8.4 per 100,000 for women according to a report by the World Health Organization.
Statistics reveal that in the UK, three-quarters of suicides are committed by men 11. In the US, ‘for many years, the suicide rate has been about 4 times higher among men than among women. In 2013, men had a suicide rate of 20.2, and women had a rate of 5.5. Of those who died by suicide in 2013, 77.9% were male. 12.”
This epiphany transformed in entirety how I was going to write this chapter. I ended up dubbing this chapter: Speak Out and I dedicate it to men. The sad thing is my readers don’t seem to pick this particular issue up. They quote me. They write decorative reviews but barely do they speak of what I suppose is a grave subject.
In the face of maelstrom men rather than ask for help seethe in silence.
Women speak out and ask for help.
“Men aren’t willing to speak, because to them it’s a sign of weakness. They clamp down on frustration, on disappointment, on anger because that’s what it means to be ‘manly’. And unlike their female counterparts, they opt to ‘shut it within’ until they somaticize and a physical symptom appears.”
Men deny feeling pain or anger or frustration. So, they bottle up emotions and that destroys them.
The society further aggravates this. It expects men not to break down, not to whine, not to flinch.
We certainly need to change what defines being a man. When it comes to dealing with emotions there is nothing to man about.
Men should learn to break down and ask for help.
