The Three Things I Learned After Losing My Manifestations, Twice?
Why Did I Keep Reverting Back To My Old Story?
After all the crap I’ve been through, I’m happy to say that my life is finally going where I wanted it to. I’m writing articles, screenplays, short stories, poems, and books. I’m working on a cold right now, but after a few weeks of meditation, I’m at a place where I like to be at last.
However, I still need to make some improvements. After manifesting what I want, I usually revert to my old story, my old life, my old self.
But not this time.
Why do I keep reverting back to my old story?
Because I allowed it.
How A Songwriter Made Me Lose My Manifestations?
After I manifested my new life as a songwriter, I scheduled myself to work with another songwriter since musicians need to work with other musicians. I brought my guitar, notebook, pen, voice recorder, and guitar tuner. I came prepared.
After a few minutes, I hit a wall. The person I was working with pointed out that the guitar was out of tune. It caught me off guard.
I’m sure he was trying to help, but it had going to my old story.
Again, it was my fault. I should said to myself he was trying to help, but I was too insecure.
How A Cinematographer Made Me Lose Manifestation?
This one was different.
After manifesting my new life as a filmmaker, I wrote a screenplay and became part of a film production company. I was grateful.
When it was time for me to direct, I was nervous about screwing up. It was my first time directing a film, and I wanted it to look good.
The problem was that so does he but in his own way.
On the first day of shooting, he was disrespectful. I was agitated when he started filming without my say. It was bad enough that he was talking to someone else, ignoring me on purpose. It wasn’t an important conversation, either. He was only messing around, wasting time.
I almost slapped him for saying one of my directions was unnecessary. Thank God, somebody jumped in front of me before I got a chance.
He said he had ADHD, explaining why he was ignoring me. Like a naive fool, I believed him. That was after I learned it was a terrible excuse for him to be disrespectful. Those YouTube videos about Gabbie Hanna helped me see that.
If he pulls the same thing with an A-list film director, his filmmaking career won’t last long.
But thanks to his contribution, I had more doubts that I could direct a film.
Why Did I Allow Other People To Make Me Doubt Myself?
I hate to say it, but my dad used to point out everything he didn’t like, mostly my appearance. He would often say, “You don’t know s***!”
Those hurtful words stuck in my subconscious mind. After learning that was the problem, I had to remember my dad was nothing but an angry man who almost lost contact with his wife and all of his kids because of his actions.
If people cut you down like that, they don’t love you enough. Just like when someone who makes fun of you for trying to help build their company doesn’t respect you after saying he respects you.
What I Learned
Some people disappoint you, even the ones who were supposed to build you up. Still, I blame myself for believing that crap.
I had to learn these three things:
- If people don’t want to respect you, you don’t have to work with them.
- If you want to change your story, get rid of the old story and stick with the story you want.
- Some people are too stubborn to work with.
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