6 Things You Must Do If You Win the Big Jackpot

You have been hitting online casinos like crazy… all day everyday. You win some you lose some… well, maybe you lose a lot! Then one day… BAM shit is ringing all over the place and you have the dumbest face ever. You find yourself blinking faster than the splashing “You Are a Winner” banner/text on the screen. “Did I just… What is… is this real?”. You don’t even know how to hold a steady monologue with your own self.

But, alas, five years of constant spins and a few thrills here and there, moving from casino to casino… all that hard work has finally paid off. For the first time you realize that your (sore) thumb is almost losing it’s print due to constant (almost religious) swiping on the touch screen as you spin online video slots for 5 straight years. But yeah, you don’t care, you’re a winner… And not just any regular winnings… you’ve hit the Motherload of all online slots Jackpot (or so you tell yourself). A new millionaire. Things are finally looking up.

Your mind goes blank for a few seconds, then everything comes flooding in…

A new car, maybe a house, oh wait, what about sipping pina coladas from any exotic destination in the world, or maybe going shopping for new threads in Dubai? (I guess if you’re already in Dubai you’d want to go for your shopping spree elsewhere…

The truth is, at that moment, everything seems possible. And you want it all. Hell, you can pay for it all. You’re rich now… oh wait, sorry, a millionaire. You’re still doubting if all what’s happening is real, but you’re itching for the world to find out how stinking “come lick my shoe” rich you are. You even picture yourself taking selfies with a few of your favorite public personalities.

Stop.

And I really mean it, STOP!

Winning the Jackpot can be a blessing… okay, a life changing blessing, but it can also be a curse! Ask the 21 lottery winners listed in countless listicles all over the internet (including the MSN website: http://www.msn.com ); and some appear in all of them! Each article header is almost reading the same… “21 crazy fools who had it all… until they didn’t!”

This can be you. Things can move from high class hotels in Vegas to working minimum wage very fast. One of the “victims” in the articles — Sharon Tirabassi — blew $10.5 million between 2004 and 2008 by partying everywhere, buying everything (including a house worth $515, 000), and giving most of it away as “loans” to friends and family. The last anyone heard of miss Tirabassi she was working a part-time job (and riding the city bus to work) to feed and house her children. But get this, she could easily have afforded to pay cash for the house she didn’t. Instead, she went for a mortgage loan of about $360, 000. She also bought a car to the tunes of $200, 000. And she had several cars by the way… dumb decision after dumb decision. (No pun intended, but I’m sorry we can all see the results).

I know now you’re thinking, “Okay Mr. Know It All… what could you have done differently? Why should I even listen to some wacky advice from a dude on the internet?” And then your last thought will be… “Okay smarty pants, tell me what I should I do when I win the Jackpot playing online slots?”

Get comfortable… this is what Mr. K.I.A. has to say.

Here are 6 things you must do or buy when you win the Jackpot playing online video slots.

1. Flee!

I know this sounds a bit offish since you want to be around people who recognize your newly found wealth, but trust me, you don’t need all that pressure on your back. Buy a plane ticket and get out of town for a while. It’s prudent to give your bosses a heads up if you were under employment, they’ll understand, but you can call them from the taxi on your way to the airport (or train station). Whatever you do, don’t stick around your home area. Hire a horse or something… but just go!

Everyone wants to pat you on the back. The bar tender from your local pub is ready (actually insisting) to give you a $10, 000 tab from the top shelf. The entire neighborhood (including old grumpy George) wants to come over to your house for tea and a chat… or bring you freshly baked muffins in the morning… trust me, you don’t need all that. Leave it all and go. You’ll need this time to think about what you really need. Not what you think you want.

2. Arm Yourself With The Right Team Immediately

The first thing you do, despite the urge to do otherwise, is to find a winning team to guide you through these trying moments. Get yourself lawyered up ASAP, or call you lawyer if you already have one. Good news travels fast so they’ll probably be waiting by the phone for your call. That’s if they don’t call you first. The excitement can lead you to believe that you can handle everything by yourself, but the truth is, you can’t. Secondly, find the best financial adviser money can buy. It’ll save you more money later. A competent financial adviser will help you map out a clear plan of how not to lose your newly acquired millionaire status faster than you can shout “Hurrah”! Janite Lee went from making wigs in a South Korean factory, to donating huge amounts of money to her favorite party (the Democratic Party), building University reading rooms (maybe because Washington University abbreviates to WU — *wink wink), and quickly back filing for bankruptcy after squandering $18million in 8 years. To the average Joe, this might look like a totally wise idea and a very philanthropic way to spend your quick riches. A professional will advice you otherwise… and it’ll be for your own good! And for everyone else believe it or not.

3. Secure a Home

Money comes and money goes (clearly…), but a firm home will always be your comfort when everything else is shitty out there. And please, don’t pull a Tirabassi, just buy the damn house if you can afford it. Of course, a good financial adviser will not allow you to take the Tirabassi route, and a good lawyer will definitely be an asset when the piles of paperwork don’t make any sense. Most of it will not believe me. Securing a home is everyone’s dream. Why someone would think of buying everything else and not think about securing a home still beats me.

If you don’t already own a car then by all means visit your local car dealership and buy something you can afford. Not affording in the sense of “paying for it…”, we all know you can do that duh… but rather a car you can afford to maintain in the long run. You only need a car to get you from point A to point B. Period. If you’re thinking of buying a car to show off (or for prestige), then my friend, you’re buying it for the wrong reasons. You were going to take out a car loan to buy that Honda that you thought looked amazing… now go there and buy it! Leave the Ferraris to Rap stars and celebrities… and the REAL rich folks who had over 6 generations to work their way to family billions backed by strong investments that top the charts in Wall Street. Stop with the dreams. Come to think of it… have you watched “Wolves of Wall Street”? Leonardo DiCaprio? From rags to stupid riches… then off to jail! Bad decisions.

4. Stop Playing Jesus!

All the winners (more like losers…) listed anywhere on the internet for poor judgement and financial management had this one common problem; dishing out cash to every Tom, Dick and Harry like human ATMs. Making it rain! Before you even do that please think of this. These people you’re “helping” had their problems before you became rich, and trust me, they always had ways to solve them even without your millions. They never needed your broke ass before, and they surely don’t need you now. Everyone will always be in problems… we were all created for that. It’s a tough world out there and your money is not going to solve everybody’s problems. You are not the Savior of the world for heaven’s sake; you’re just another online video slots Jackpot winner… nothing special. Spread the gospel and encourage everyone else to try their hand at online slots, not the cash. That’s not monopoly money you have there, you don’t get to start over and do better next time.

5. Help Your Immediate Family… Moderately

Keep calm, your family will always be your family no matter what… no need to get overly excited about helping each and every problem they can possibly throw at you. Anyone with a genuine and I mean a genuine problem should be helped. Serious hospital bills, housing a family member whose house was totally razed to the ground (after proving it wasn’t them). You know what I mean… genuine or otherwise life threatening problems. If anyone says they need money for drinks at the local pub, or some cash to pay off a drug dealer who’s threatening to break their legs, then please, by all means, tell them straight to their faces to get a job!

If the general rule was that everyone pitches in to deal with any family crisis, then let things remain the same. Everyone didn’t lose their jobs because you won the Jackpot, did they? If grandpa’s bills at the senior’s home, or buying grandma’s monthly medication was a communal family thing, then everything remains as it was. Maintaining the “Status Quo” is the key thing here… Okay, sometimes you can go a little overboard with your contribution to cover a “genuinely broke” family member who can’t make their contribution. Don’t allow it to grow into a habit.

You have to be very firm, especially with family members. Some will want to kill you for your money, some will start hating you for it, and some will start pretending to like you after 20 years of giving you the cold shoulder. Family problems can never be solved by money, try a counselor if y’all can’t sit down and talk about it.

Truth is, if you find yourself in a situation where family relationships begin to go south just because you won’t let them access your fortune the way they’d want to, then you might want to reconsider your true “family” relationship(s). I’d also advice you to move away very fast!

6. Flirt With Lady Luck… Again

Do you know what happened to Evelyn Adams back in 2005 and 2006? She won the lottery twice! That’s the equivalent of lighting striking the exact same spot ten times! Both her winnings amounted to a cool $5.4million. She however missed steps 1 to 5 and therefore she was soon back to poverty after making poor investments, going for anytime shopping sprees, and oh yes, buying every family member unnecessary gifts.

So what am I saying here?

You could be the next Evelyn Adams and break her record… then you can do better with your winnings of course. Online slots are like a sweet “legal” drug with dividends. You have fun, and you get paid while doing it. And please, I understand the urge to go all out with the bets (without caution) will be strong since you’ll be able to afford the Max Bet wagers on any online slot machine a million times over, but I’ll repeat one more time for your own sake, PLEASE… don’t change the winning formula. Be wary of how you throw in your bets. Regulate your play… and remember to walk away when things get sticky. Same as before…

The rest is up to lady luck to show her stuff… again… I mean, she did it for Evelyn Adams, why not you?

Need I say more?

Ok ok… signing out now…