The Only People Who Like My New Car Are Men Who Own Car Washes
Women don’t find my car sexy
I’ve leased the same car for nine years in a row
I’ve leased the same strange, niche model of BMW for three times in a row, amounting to nearly nine years with the same car. I have to get the identical car all the time because it perfectly suits my need to put surfboards in it on the two or three occasions per year now I actually go surfing.
I don’t like to put my precious surfboards on a roof rack because I do not want them to get stolen. These surfboards are not the foam boards from Costco. These are McCoy surfboards from Australia, and they are works of art. Never mind that I’m so fat now, the boards can hardly float when I’m sitting on them.
The model car I get is called a 335i GT, and the “GT” stands for “Grand Turismo.” The car is basically a standard 3 Series BMW, stretched out and plumped up into a hatchback, for more storage than a standard 3 Series sedan.
In exchange for losing the world-class sportiness and agility of a standard 3 Series, the GT has incredible storage space when…
