I May Suck Today but I Won’t tomorrow

Ren D
Published in
5 min readFeb 24, 2021

Photo by Jakayla Toney on Unsplash

Last night while sitting in my office playing guitar, my son came in the room, little guitar in hand, tears streaming down his face. He said he isn’t anything. I looked at him puzzled. He said his sister is a crafter, his father is a coder and I’m a guitarist. We all are “things” but he isn’t.

I can’t lie. I was smiling on the inside. The fact that he called me a guitarist was wonderful. It’s a Covid hobby. I am slowly teaching myself via You Tube. I discovered I enjoy playing so I play everyday. But it feels different to be identified as a guitarist. It feels good. I digress, back to my son.

I asked him what he wanted to be. He looked at me confused. I told him he can be anything if he works towards it every day. My son nodded. He seemed to understand.

By doing something everyday, you will be it.

I found the entire conversation ironic. Just a couple months ago, I asked myself the same question. Who am I? Who did I want to be? What was I doing to get there?

Somewhat lost but somewhat found, I started reading the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. It seemed like I should understand the concepts prior to reading the book but I had no clue.

I didn’t understand I had the power to change my identity by changing my habits. Learning that was profound.

When my son asked me the same question, my eyes lit up. For once, I had an answer. I could help him. I could help him understand he could do anything. Having learned that later in life, I was happy to be able to teach him while he was young.

We believe we need to be a good beginner.

As a child, I quit everything I started. I quit soccer because I wasn’t good. I started violin only to quit within 6 months because I wasn’t good.

The one hobby I didn’t quit was cultural dance. While I wasn’t good, quitting wasn’t an option. My friend’s mom drove us and I was at their house after school.

When I was 14, I was asked to participate in Naya Andaz Dance Competition. The group participating needed additional people. I went with my friend. She was a much better dancer. She absolutely loved to dance. But, she was a year…