10 Things You Probably Don’t Know about Me

And Maybe Don’t Want to Know

I’m glad to see this topic making the rounds on Medium!

When I used to write on Quora, this sort of getting-to-know-you exercise was quite popular. We developed strong networks and support groups in part by sharing like this, by tagging each other and asking for personal stories and life experiences.

I love the idea! So, here goes. What don’t you know about me that you might find surprising or funny?

1. I once spent about 10 years practicing Buddhist-style meditation twice a day for an hour. I was eventually able to (usually) achieve a state of “experiencing consciousness differently,” which is to say, without a lens of selfness. It’s a remarkable phenomenon. Highly recommended. Magic mushrooms and LSD can approximate the experience, but in a sort of mushy, hazy way that doesn’t compare to the discipline of meditation.
2. During that same period of time, I was a dedicated marathon runner, and I kept it up into my 50s, but I recently “put down the stop watch,” and now run only for pleasure and never for time.
3. I grew up without music, aside from hymns in church. Some of you know that because I’m a gay man, I’m pretty hostile to most forms of organized religion. What you don’t know is that I frequently find myself humming Christian sacred music like Amazing Grace or It is Well with my Soul.
4. Given the desert of my childhood musical life, I never developed the habit of appreciating music. Unlike most of my peers in high school and later, I didn’t care about pop music, or really almost any music. I feel poorer for it.
5. I speak fluent French, watching French films without subtitles and until recently, socializing with a set of native francophones in Detroit. I say that only to point out that I feel like a different person in French. The person I am in French loves music and is highly knowledgeable about French pop classics and contemporary tunes. I rattle off lyrics, sing along, and even rap along. (Wanna see my play list? Click here!)
6. Gentlemen prefer blonds, eh? I do. I find blond men to be the cat’s meow. What’s unusual about that? I’ve never had a blond boyfriend. Not once. Ever in my life.
7. I am an introvert. You’d never guess. I’m an impassioned story teller and the life of the party. Literally. But after the party, I need huge amounts of recovery time to get over the social exhaustion.
8. I am a very fearful person. I don’t let it show, but lots of things scare me. Again, even though you’d never guess, it takes a toll on me. I often feel eaten away at by adrenaline and other stress hormones.
9. I was formally diagnosed with PTSD about a decade ago, and spent a few years doing cognitive behavioral therapy to try to come to terms with a childhood of religious trauma. Actually, that probably wouldn’t surprise people who read my writing closely.
10. I am an artist. Or that’s how I prefer to see myself. I devoted two intense periods of my life to full-time writing, and I’m in the middle of a third such period now. I expect it isn’t temporary this time. I don’t know if I will encounter any formal professional success, but I’m doing what I want, and I’m not going to stop.

Here’s a partial tag list of people who have already participated in this topic, or who I’d like to ask to participate.

Clay Rivers Jack Herlocker Jack Preston King Eric Griggs alto David Montgomery Adam, Diabetic Cyborg Fred Shirley Gwen Saoirse BFoundAPen Gloria Bates Zayn Singh Artemis Shishir Terijo Kathy Lee Tolleth neil chapman Ikedi Oghenetega Dennett Sean Stephane Martin Claire-Édith de la Croix Victoria Pendragon Sherry Kappel Jk Mansi Terrye Turpin Kay Bolden