Get out of the F@&$ing Way
Twice this week, I found myself debating with people on my team. The disagreements were trivial in the grand scheme of things: what day a new employee should start, and how a new project management tool would be organized.
In both cases, I had developed quick opinions. Opinions that I could defend with bullet points and extensive rhetoric. I felt deeply convinced that I was right. My only question was the best strategy to convince the others.
And then it dawned on me: The only reason we were still talking about this at all was because I was trying to get my way. Not the correct way, or the best way, but my way. All I had to do was stop talking, and it would be over. Money was flying out the window in the form of salaries while I prolonged these debates. It’s not that debate is bad: the waste comes in when the decision has just as high a likelihood of success regardless of who made it. The waste comes in when I’m motivated by a desire to be right.
I made myself a checklist so I can shut up sooner and more often:
- Does my perspective/position/experience make my opinion more informed?
- Does the opposing position endanger the company or people?
- Will I care a year from now?
- Am I against the opposing position based on irrelevant data, such as bias against its messenger?
- Does it really f@&$ing matter?
Sometimes, it absolutely f@&$cking matters, and I am going to stand my ground with a patient ferocity that will shake the earth.
But most of the time? I need to move along and mind my own f@&$cking business, because my list of tasks is long enough without getting tangled up in everyone else’s day to day.
We’ve got brilliant people on our team. Most of the time, what I need to do is get out of the f@&$cking way. Let the people I depend on the most impress me with their creativity, hard work, and output.
They’ll be happier and more empowered.
And ironically, so will I.
